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Chapter 104: A Person named Marie
🕑 Added 2024-08-06 22:21:05 +0000 UTCMarie disappeared from Eden that day. She hadn’t thought it would happen to her, but that was how life often went, wasn’t it? Every danger felt so distant, so irrelevant, until it happens to you.
She’d felt about leaving Eden like this the same way she thought about car crashes. Of course she knew they happened. They were downright common. But despite that, when stepping into a car she never expected to have one.
The peaceful thoughts were interrupted when Marie was shunted back into Neamhan. Usually, the process was smooth, but not this time.
Unlike all the other times she’d gone back and forth, she hadn’t gone through a fixed gateway, simply taking a step and ending up in another world. Instead, she was moved by Fio, while missing an arm and a leg.
So, instead of gracefully stepping out of the mirror, Marie stumbled and fell, her face slamming against the wooden boards of the floor. She attempted to get up, but her damn leg wouldn’t move.
Pins and needles wracked her once-injured body parts at the same time as the phantom pain set in. Marie drew in a sharp breath, feeling stifled and suffocated. It didn’t help. Dozens of seconds went by as she laid on the floor, gasping like a fish on land, curled up in hopes that her body would stop aching.
Minutes ticked by, and eventually, the acute pain faded. She still felt numb. Slowly, she crawled across the floor, grabbed one of the pots of her bed, and pulled herself up. She sat down on it, managing to hold the position.
Then, she put her elbows on her thighs, and her face in her hands, and started crying. “Fuck,” she muttered. “Fuck.”
It had hurt. That pain was, easily, the most agonizing thing she had ever gone through. But the uncertainty was even worse. Were the others okay? Would they survive? There were archmages there now, sure, but that… thing had been terrifying.
She hyperventilated again, then choked down a sob. ‘Breathe,’ she thought to herself. ‘Just breathe.’
Another ten minutes passed before Marie stopped shaking. Her hands, finally, felt somewhat normal again, the strange numbness and pulling sensation fading into the background. “I’m safe,” he muttered out loud, more for herself to hear.
Slowly, she lifted her face out of her hands, and faced the coming day. They’d spent a long time in Eden. New year’s had passed. Winter was slowly fading away to spring. It was still chilly, but she could see the first stems of hardy grasses outside.
Marie took a moment to appreciate the view. Her home was… unusual, to say the least. It had windows on all sides of the cabin atop the tower. Around her were… forests. Some of the last that remained on Neamhan.
Hardy trees that had somehow been overlooked during all the deforestation. Shrubbery that had just started to recover. They weren’t doing amazingly, with all the pollution in the air, but they were alive.
She basked in a ray of sunlight. It fell onto the arm she remembered losing, and the dull, pulling pain reared its ugly head again. She drew in another sharp breath, but let it fade naturally.
The amount of synchronization between her bodies hadn’t been this great before. Was it another facet of Fio’s ability? Then…
No. She sighed, shaking her head. She didn’t want to know, yet. Marie breathed, basking in the sunlight, staring out at the forest from her ranger cabin. She left that small flame of hope linger in her heart. The thought that she might be able to use Qi or Mana on Neamhan now. She let that flame burn, and shifted her focus.
In the corner of the cabin stood her mirror. It was taller than she was, hanging on a wooden frame that allowed it to spin. She walked up to it, tracing her fingers across the surface, leaving a faint trail.
Usually, it would ripple at her touch. Respond. But now, the glass was inert. It only showed her own reflection, that of an old, hardened woman, who had just spent minutes crying and shaking.
“I look like shit,” she said, scoffing slightly. She took a few steps over to the pantry, limping slightly, pulled it open, took out a can of tomato soup, and started devouring it. She was ravenous.
After half the can she started to feel sick, but still forced the rest down, then sat on her bed again.
She didn’t do this as a job anymore. No one paid her to be out here. She didn’t even have an obligation. She made enough from Eden. But the few people who mattered to her in this world were the other rangers.
Taking a deep breath, she walked to the radio. She wasn’t supposed to have one of these; they were government issued. Only rangers could cue into them. But, with her old contacts, getting an old one and fixing it up hadn’t been much trouble.
One more, she breathed, reaching for the mic with a shaky hand. Sh pressed the button to turn the whole thing on, hearing the crackly static that calmed her nerves. Then, she activated her mic. “This is Marie,” she said. “Back in tower three-O. I’ll be here for the foreseeable future again. Looking forward to working with you. Andy, you here?”
She let go of the button and waited, rapping her fingertips on the table. Fuck, she felt like shit.
Eventually, the radio crackled more. “Yeah, here, this is Andy. Welcome back, Marie.”
Andy’s voice was husky and rough, from a lifetime of smoking and breathing road air. He was in his early sixties, now, but still strong as a bear. “Can you set me up my supply drops again?” Marie asked.
“‘Course,” the man replied through the crackling. “Earliest I can do is overmorrow. That fine?”
“Works perfectly. Thanks, Andy.”
“No prob.” A long pause on the radio.
Then, there was another voice, younger. “You sound like shit, Marie,” they said with a bit of bite.
“I feel even worse,” she replied truthfully.
“Hah!” Jamie, the younger colleague, barked a laugh through the mic so loud that it peaked, sending a slight squeal through the ranger cabin. “Catch some sleep, then. No hikers in the area anyway, far as we know. If you spot smoke, just let us know, but with the melting snow, things are wet anyway.”
“Will do. Talk to you later, Jamie. Andy.”
“Later.”
The legs of the chair scraped across the wooden floor as Marie got up, almost stumbling. She slapped her leg a few times, trying to get the circulation going a bit more, but it felt dull and distant. She grimaced, then limped to her bed, and flopped down.
Draping an arm over her face, Marie sighed. “Fuck,” she repeated again.
There was a ball of emotions in her chest. Anger, sadness, worry, happiness, fulfillment… she’d done so much and yet it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
Now the others were on their own. She hoped… Marie choked back a sob. She really hoped none of them would forget her.
All she could do for now was remember them, the way she’d seen them before her return to Neamhan. Smiling, for her. She already missed her friends.
- - -
I stared blankly at the spot where Marie had just been. Emilia was the first to leave the formation around her. She draped back against a tree, holding her stump in pain. “Divines,” she muttered. “I think I might pass the fuck out.”
Reya got up next, kneeling to the warrior,and glowing with divinity. Her eyes were closed, her face a mask of silent mourning. She channelled it to try and help where he could. Ann still peacefully slept.
Liam… cried. I saw tears streaking down his face. He shook. I placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. Chris had lost their human shell, but stood vigilantly with the bodies of the forest spirit and rock hound. Watching out. The wooden one turned to where the body had been and gestured.
I started at them for a while. “Oh,” I said. “You wanna build a marker?”
They nodded. “Yeah. I think that might be nice.”
Nodding, they kneeled down, and began casting magic. I stared blankly, still.
The archmage, Erasmus, looked to us. “A valiant sacrifice,” he said. “A brave woman who leaves this world in its service. You did a remarkable job closing the rift. Losing only one Defender-”
Matt stood, and slammed his fist into a nearby tree, splintering the wood. His face was a mask of rage, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Say one more fucking word, old man,” he ground out through a sneer. “One more fucking word and I’ll skewer you, you bastard.”
He was serious. Erasmus looked at him sadly. No, not quite. It was with pity. “Then I will leave and we shall take care of the usurper. We will return to you afterwards.”
“Kill it,” I told him. “For her-”
Erasmus gently shook his head. “I don’t suppose that will be possible. But we will drive it back to the other side of the rift.” Then, he stepped through space, and was suddenly gone.
Matt slammed the tree again, with another resounding crack. He’d almost smashed the whole trunk by now. “Fucking useless,” he said staring at the sky. “They’re useless. Not even revenge. All we get is a petty ‘good job’ and a pat on the fucking back. For what? For what?!”
I slowly stood up, gently taking my hand off Liam. “Matt?” I asked.
He turned to me, barely suppressed rage in his eyes. “Yes?” he said, probably as politely as he could manage, his voice shaking.
“Let’s take a walk.” I heard my own voice shake a little as well, but not from anger. I felt… defeated.
Matt glared at me, those pale pink eyes alit with fury. Despite that, he took a long, hissing breath, and held it in. “Okay,” he ground out.
For a few more seconds, I stood, nodding slowly and holding onto his shoulder. I watched as Chris’ shell worked, the Leshi growing a tree where Marie had disappeared. It wasn’t huge. More of a shrug, really. She would’ve loved it.
When the wooden giant stood and walked away again, I turned to Matt. He nodded curtly, and we headed out.
A few minutes passed in perfect silence.
The only noises we heard was the crunching of leaves under our boots, and the faint ringing of combat in the distance. I did also hear Matt grind his teeth, but I decided to ignore it. The afternoon was almost tranquil. The air felt so calm now, compared to the buzz of mana. I was almost out of Qi, only keeping a thin layer of it around myself to not attract any monsters.
I simply looked at the sky as we walked in tandem.
Eventually, Matt broke the silence. “Why are we doing this?” he asked.
As he asked, I turned to face him. I was crying, for sure. I let out a small sniffle as I looked at him, and I saw about half of that anger disappear in an instant, winking out. “‘Cuz I need it,” I told him. “And I think- I think you do, too.”
Matt… didn’t reply at first. I heard him draw in a long breath through his teeth, then breathe out again. He repeated the motion a few times. Then he walked another couple dozen steps simply staring at the ground, thinking.
It was almost funny. I knew him well, so much so that I could almost see the cogs in his head turning. He was working through it. He was grieving. In a way, we all were, even though Marie wasn’t dead. She’d suffered for us. And she was gone, right now.
After some time, he opened his mouth, then closed it again, thinking some more. It took him a while to decide on what to say. “Sorry,” he said. “For-”
I decided to interrupt him, stopping our walk, as cathartic as it felt for voyage, and grabbed his shoulder. “Matt,” I said, getting his attention. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“But-”
“Nothing,” I repeated, squeezing harder. I stared at him, downright boring into his eyes, not letting him look away. I think I was still crying, tears streaking down my cheek.
He looked. Then slowly, shakily nodded. “Okay,” he said, eventually. “Okay. I- thank you. For walking with me.”
“Of course.”
“Marie was… she…” he paused. Looked at me helplessly. He couldn’t find the words.
I breathed in. “She was your mom.”
Matt blinked. “What?”
“Not just yours,” I shrugged, “but more so than anyone else’s. Matt, when was the last time your mother praised you?”
He froze. There was another, longer silence. “Oh,” he eventually said.
“Yeah,” I answered, finally releasing his shoulder and letting my arm drop limply. I kicked a pebble aside, looking at the floor. “So, Matt, please grieve. In whatever way you need to. Get angry, get frustrated, scream and yell. We’re out here, now. You can do whatever. No one’s gonna judge.”
Matt pulled me into a hug. “I’m a bit selfish, huh?” he asked, whispering.
I wrapped my arms around him. “A little. But that’s okay. I- All of us get it, Rabbit.”
He breathed, then sobbed, and I felt my patchwork shirt get wetter. He held onto me like a buoy in a storm. I held him, too. The poor guy was so hurt. After his grandma, this was the second mom he’d effectively lost.
“She remembers us, you know?” I whispered, when his sobs quieted a little.
I felt him nod. “Yea,” he said with a hiccup for air.
“We’ll see her again.”
“Mhm,” he nodded again.
“But it’s still okay to be upset. I’m upset. We all wish we could’ve saved the others, but that’s just not how it went. So we’ll mope,” I said.
“Mhm.” Matt hugged me silently for another few minutes. Eventually, he took a long breath, then pulled away.
He looked at me with eyes that were grateful, but remained silent. He’d cry again if he talked. I knew the feeling.
Instead, I saw his fingers slowly trail to his hip where his broken sword was sheathed. He pulled it out, slowly.
Now, it was only the length of a dagger, the ending of it jagged and rough. It would eventually heal with enough Qi, especially at wellspring rank, but it still fucking sucked. Maybe he would spend some contribution reforging it?
Matt, oblivious to my wandering thoughts, unsheathed the sword. He looked at his own reflection in the fracture metal. He choked out a pained laugh, running his free hand over his face and through his hair. He, obviously, looked like a fucking mess.
Gently, I turned the sword in his hand so that the broad side wasn’t facing him anymore. No need to worry about his own reflection.
Slowly, looking more like a puppet on strings than a human, he swung. It was a simple overhead slice, executed at a speed more like flowing honey than anything else. After almost half a minute, the first slash was completed, and he transitioned into the next one.
I could see his worn down muscles working underneath his skin. A terribly faint smell of plum enveloped the forest. It seemed to quiet the wind around us, even as a raindrop fell from the sky.
The forest was wrapped in a deep silence as Matt moved. Step by agonizingly slow step, he moved through the forms of his swordsmanship. He gazed at me occasionally, as if looking for mockery, but after his first glance, I shook off my stupor.
With a faint, encouraging smile, I leaned against a tree, and pulled out my spear. It was worn down. The blade had chipped, the shaft, too, not to mention the imprint of where the usurper had grabbed it.
Despite that, I heard the faint chirping of the spirit in it. A buzzing sound that blended into the falling droplets of water.
In the silent forest, I began channelling my Qi through the spear. Repairing it, strengthening it, feeding the spirit. It felt hopeless, but those were the times when it mattered most.
In the silent forest, I lived on. Marie wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Comments
Kaelik
Marie gets called he back I'm her section (by narrator) there's there's "sh" that should be "she" and the memorial tree is called a "shrug" presumably shrub.
