Jessie Beale
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Diary of an anxious traveller // Blog
🕑 Added 2022-12-12 05:00:04 +0000 UTC"The world is a book and those who do not travel only read one page"
YOU HAVE TO TRAVEL WHILE YOU'RE YOUNG! Said everybody, ever.
I've always been told to travel. By friends, by family, by goddamn Pinterest quotes. It's everywhere! You're robbing yourself of the wonders of the world they say, you won't know who you really are until you travel.
Read my most recent blog 'Diary of an anxious traveler' here - https://www.jessiebeale.com/post/diary-of-an-anxious-traveler
I've been on the road for 3 months now and I'm fucking exhausted. My anxiety has taken me for a ride and is reminding me every day of how little in control of my life I am. Man, mental health is no joke. I've had some seriously bad days, especially after we arrived in Laos.
We were trying to travel from Huay Xai to Thakhek without selling our souls to the devil (taking a 24 hr bus) and it between it all, it just became too much.
Anna was in a conversation with the hostel manager trying to organize transport and although I was seated within hearing distance, the conversation sounded like a whisper. It felt as though I was watching everything from a distance as if I was outside of my own body.
My eyes began to well, and my stomach knotted. I turned to Anna who was in mid-conversation and said 'we have to go. NOW!' I knew I had to retreat to a safe space before I melted into the floor and made a scene.
I was about to have a breakdown.
We left and I found a quiet space to calm my nervous system and bring me back to the present moment. I hadn't felt such a lack of control over my emotions like this in a long time and it scared me a little. But from these moments I learn more about myself and this is what this entire trip is about, self enquiry.
