Jessie Beale
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Sneaky pics + brain dump
🕑 Added 2023-01-21 12:45:39 +0000 UTCIt's from one city to the next. On a bus - off a bus trying to make it in time to check into our accommodation for the night. See the sights, take the photos and move on. For the first few months, I really struggled to relax, my anxiety was sky-high and I was always on edge. We were moving so quickly, trying to see everything we could, my nervous system was just freaking out as I tried to comprehend what the fuck was happening around me each day.
But since arriving in Vietnam 3 weeks ago, although the streets were busier, I felt calmer and happier.
But you wanna know something fucked up. I'm cautious of my good mental health days. Because what goes up... must come down.
If I catch myself smiling, I'll question why I'm so happy or if I find myself caught up in a moment of excitement, I'll quickly calm myself down in fear that I'll 'crash' and run out of happiness as though I've only got so much to spare.
But I'm working on it. I'm working on calming my nervous system and un-tensing my shoulders so that on those good days, I have the energy to enjoy it. To be there in that moment, completely and utterly immersed in my own joy.
// Anna caught me on camera taking self-portraits on my phone that was propped up on a box and danggg they turned out nice. I love an accidental photoshoot.
