fantakoi
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merch progress + why smoke is a repeating element in the comic
🕑 Added 2018-04-27 15:19:10 +0000 UTCthe last two stickers are done!!
and maybe some of you remember the sketch on the bottom? i decided to use it as the cover art for this volume <3 comparing it with the cover art for the prototype, it's very close in theme (with their ghostly past lingering around them) and i might just keep this up as a (cover) series.
by the way, i don't really know if i ever mentioned this, but there's a reason why Noah and Robin often breath white breath (or in Robin's case smoke)
i chose to use this as a major element in the whole comic (steam from cups, while cooking, fog, breath, smoke from cigarette, etc.). it can be warm and gentle, comforting even, but also cold and so heavy it can lead you into wrong directions. back when i had the dream that led to this story i swear i had to grasp through the thick fog in the forest, i couldn't see the way at all. i remember this element SO CLEARLY. i remember how the despair felt when the boys lost themselves and how it felt when one of them turned around, eyes dark. they were trying to breathe out heavy white breath, it was sticky and foggy and then it fell down to cover the floor and all flowers and the dark lake next to them. the whole time it felt like they were trapped in their own human bodies.
in hindsight, i know this had to do with my own health condition at that time. my body simply tried to recover and then the medication made me have the craziest dreams. when i got better i often dreamed about things being in my body that shouldn't be there, or that i was completely lost in places i don't know and i was trying to get back where i was before. the fog and white breath thing... i think i was still dealing with the fact that i was fully awake when medical tools were stuck through my throat down into my stomach and it just. i probably won't forget how it felt, even now that i'm writing this. months later i finally could deal with it a bit because i could sleep and dream it off. so... i think this is kind of interesting? this story is, as i often said before, super personal. i could've missed the whole experience, but it gave me new hope in form of two nerds who fall in love and want to be here in this world despite everything. i'm really thankful for this. anyway, i just had to think about it now that i saw the foggy antlers and horns for the new cover! this element will be there until the end, too
i'm also very sorry for suddenly talking about health stuff. i hope it's okay to drop that here sometimes, it just has been a part of the whole writing progress, too ;; and wherever you are right now in your life... i just want to say, that it can and will get better. and that i love you and i'm glad that i can share this story with you πΈπ
Comments
tegirvaru
thank you for sharing. your experiences adds to the depth of the story, and that one reason i dont want you to react to what readers think they want or should have. this is your story. i like it exactly as you intended it and your art is beautiful it that surrealistic way that you portray it. i had my own issues before and feel similar things which is why i was subconsciously drawn to your story without even knowing it ^.^
your comments are always like sunshine thank you my dear π·πΊ
damn, i hope you're feeling better now?? ; _; it's really something that makes the whole experience even worse... not wanting to bother others. and because i didn't know how to explain what i'm feeling i isolated myself a lot even though it was not what i should've done. it made things really dangerous. i always tried to hide and conceal that i'm sick online, too. but now that i'm better i can sometimes talk about it. the most talking is the story doing for me though <3 i can deal with things through it without many people knowing. but yes, i trust you guys and it feels nice to talk about it here. thank you π
oh ; ; you're the sweetest, thank you <33 the story helps me to have a goal and something i can work towards to. i really want to give my best to tell it. some readers have told me the story helps them in a way because they feel like Noah and that's such a nice side effect. i'm so happy this small info makes you like it even more, i'm really thankful to have you as a supporter π /hugs
Ayamabuki
I love the stickers, all of them and the cover looks amazing. I'm happy you shared something so personal with us~ Even if the experience them must have been everything but good, you survived it and brought to life something amazing in the form of Ghost Lights. Thank you. I really have noticed the smoke/ fog elements and like them, they also look nice on the cover too. <3 *hugs and kisses*
Sharing is healthy :) I know back when I was on certain medications, it made everything worse to feel that I couldn't talk about the ways it was affecting me. If you feel comfortable sharing what you went through and go through with us, please always do. Also, I love your foggy antlers and horns <3
Thank you for sharing these background information :) it's not easy to talk about health stuff like that but this makes me loving Gohst Lights even more!!! I can't put it clearly into words but bc it's something so personal to you it will be done with so much love and effort that it will become great and even more awesome!! I can't wait for all the merch to get! π
