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Rattata Chapter 68: Lucky son of a gun
🕑 Added 2025-10-14 02:00:07 +0000 UTC“Once more onto the breach,” Joey said dramatically as they once again entered Viridian forest after they’d camped on its northern outskirts for one night after having gotten kicked out of Pewter.
“If this was a video game, this would be the beginner area, no need to be dramatic,” Jessie huffed from next to Joey as they entered the forest, the light slowly leaving their world as it was taken over by the high foliage of the trees.
“But it isn’t,” Joey replied. “If anything, it's an anime.”
Jessie pulled a face. Happiny quickly mimicked the gesture. “You mean one of these kids’ cartoons?”
A chuckle escaped the boy’s mouth. The irony was too much.
“Yeah, that one. Wouldn’t it be crazy if we were all just characters in one of those?” he asked.
Jessie rolled her eyes at him.
The ground, the twigs and the pine needles crunched beneath their feet.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she eventually said, before pausing. “Although, I would make a good protagonist!”
Joey coughed loudly, trying to hide his laugh.
“What’s so funny!?” Jessie demanded angrily. If she hadn’t been carrying a baby pokemon she would have likely slapped the back of his head.
At which point he would have needed to retaliate so as to preserve his honour. No slapstick here, thank you, Joey believed in women’s rights and lefts.
Jessie eventually huffed. “Let’s see how much you like it when that Metapod clown beats your ass again on the way back,” she said coldly.
“Who?” Joey asked, genuinely confused.
“The guy with the Metapod costume and the even bigger Metapod.”
A concerned look hushed over Joey’s face. “That sounds more like a dream. Metapod don’t get that big.”
“It was literally less than 48 hours ago.”
“Jessie, are you alright?” Joey asked with a worried look at the girl who was growing increasingly red in the face. “Did you maybe eat a weird mushroom? You know you shouldn’t eat stuff from the ground.”
“I’m going to put you in the ground!”
“Ha, Happiny!”
Joey rolled his eyes. It seemed that Jessie couldn’t handle him at his gaslight, which meant she didn’t deserve him at his girlboss.
Teenagers.
“Well, Metapod-related hallucinations aside,” Joey said. “We’re making good progress this season. Four days and we already have five badges.”
Misdreavus, who was floating above and who had put the last nail into Flint’s coffin yesterday, happily cheered at that. “Misssss!”
Rattata, who was walking beside Joey, simply bobbed his head, seemingly contemplating the dao. Or maybe contemplating the fact that he’d been an asshole to a team that had immediately forgiven him when he’d apologised.
Hit harder that way.
His starter would never find out that Joey had orchestrated the whole thing, from the part where Rattata wouldn’t have been able to single-handedly beat Flint, to the convincing he’d had to do, mostly for Metapod, for his team to let everything go so quickly.
Although to be fair, Rattata had simply been a bit stand-offish and butthurt and hadn’t truly done anything other than distance himself a bit in a bout of frustration.
“How’s the Toxic Orb?” Joey asked his starter, receiving a pained growl back.
Next to the Everstone, Rattata was now carrying a Toxic Orb around his neck. The very same that Koga had given Joey all those months ago to train Metapod with.
Metapod didn’t need it anymore, and it just so happened that after Blaine, Joey would be facing Koga, who was mostly famous for his poison types.
“If we go hard on the orb, then it's possible to fight more efficiently through the pain of being poisoned while also gaining some resistance,” Joey said. “We’re starting now because your Dig can’t be improved much, for all that it will be one of our main weapons against Blaine.”
“Ra, ra…” A grunt.
“You and Diglett will take centre stage there with Misdreavus as backup,” Joey mused.
Metapod would come out as the MVP against Koga due to her Shed Skin, and then again against King. This time, she would be able to poison the whole pool.
A voice suddenly interrupted the rather tranquil journey.
“Hey, do you wanna battle?” a boy around Joey’s age shouted excitedly from down the trail. It looked like he’d screamed the second he’d seen them.
Not content with just ruining the peace with shouting, the boy then immediately ran over excitedly in his garishly yellow jacket.
His eyes widened as he finally looked up and noticed Misdreavus floating above the group. “Wow, what’s that Pokemon?” At this, he pulled out a red device and pointed it at Misdreavus.
“Misdreavus, a ghost-type Pokemon that loves screaming and wailing to startle people at night,” Dexter’s iconic voice came from the machine.
A hideous grin spread itself across Joey’s face when he saw the Pokedex. He wasn’t originally planning on battling any of the beginner trainers passing through Viridian.
But maybe he could… make an exception for Oak’s brats?
After all, the man was still waiting to see if Joey merited stabling at his ranch.
What better way to convince him than beating his sponsored trainers at this year’s conference? Every additional victory during the circuit was just a cherry on top. Also, it might help create a psychological shadow that would make it easier to win later.
“Haha,” the boy suddenly laughed awkwardly while rubbing the back of his head. “If you already have a ghost type, then maybe we’re a bit mismatched!”
“Don’t worry, friend,” Joey consoled with a calm tone. “In the spirit of fair competition, how about you face another one of my team members. Arceus knows my Metapod has been missing some excitement lately!”
The boy seemed to consider, throwing a wary look at Misdreavus, before shrugging.
A challenge was promptly sent to Joey’s Pokenav.
Ken, that was the boy’s name, suddenly took a step back. “Wait, you have five badges,” he stuttered.
Joey simply waved him off. “Don’t worry about it!” he reassured. “You don’t lose any money if you lose, but you get a lot if you win.” He paused for a second. “But…” he drawled. “If you’re scared of Metapod, that’s also alright, no need to have an unnecessary battle.” He shrugged with a sigh. “Shame, you’re almost out of the forest as well. Just one more hour.”
Ken looked at Joey nervously before looking down at Rattata, who was painfully holding his gut while looking constipated. Then he looked up at Joey, over his shoulder, where, unbeknownst to Joey, Jessie was quickly shaking her head while making a knife-cutting motion across her neck.
“Eh…”
“A trainer should be decisive,” Joey critiqued.
Ken’s eyes eventually steeled, and he took a few steps back, putting a hand on the only Pokeball at his belt. “Alright,” he said, seemingly a bit calmer. “Let’s do this!”
Joey pulled out Metapod’s Pokeball, and the two trainers released at the same time.
“Squirtleee!” the boy’s starter said excitedly, flashing a victory sign at Joey.
“MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!” Metapod shouted while frothing poison from the mouth and staring at Squirtle with bloodshot eyes. The purple liquid fell to the ground in drops and sizzled away on the dirt road, leaving small indents in the path.
Ken stared at Metapod with wide eyes. “Is your Metapod ok?” he asked as the green Pokemon twitched erratically while screaming her name.
“Oh, she didn’t get to fight in the most recent gym battle, but don’t worry, she’s good at letting off steam,” Joey explained briefly.
The Pokenav started the battle, and it finished just as quickly as it had started.
Ken had barely managed to order a “Water Gun!” before Squirtly was already wrapped up in an electric web and hoisted up into the air before being slammed down on the ground. Up, down, up down, up down, left into a tree, down, up, right into a tree, down.
“Squirtleeeee,” Ken’s starter moaned weakly after Electroweb dissipated and left the water Pokemon laying in a crater Yamcha-posing with charred rope marks all over its shell.
Joey withdrew Metapod before unceremoniously walking right past the stunned Ken, who’d frozen in place.
“Well, nice to meet you, Ken, stay hydrated,” Joey said idly.
“One hour to the Pewter Pokecenter, twerp,” Jessie said with a sigh as she followed.
“Happiny!”
-/-
Over the next few days, Joey drew a line of destruction straight through Viridian forest, uncaring for the time he wasted defeating everyone in his path, as he wasn’t in a rush for the next badge anymore.
Rattata fought only with Dig, while poisoned, so as to train for the next two gyms at the same time.
Misdreavus continued perfecting her Hypnosis and Dream Eater combo.
Diglett, well, Diglett usually finished all his battles with one Earthquake, which he was still fine-tuning. There wasn’t much to say.
They did have to run from agitated Beedrill quite often after using the move, but that was the price of practice.
Metapod, Metapod was reserved for the Pallet trainers.
A Bulbausar was left trussed up in a cocoon of String Shot on a tree with Bug Bite marks all over its body.
An arrogant Charmander who had made the mistake of insulting Metapod’s size and blowing a raspberry found itself painfully poisoned and kept at bay with String Shot until it succumbed.
Ember was easily countered by String Shot, which burned up the attack on contact, while any physical approach was simply deterred with a painful Bullet String to the gut.
“I can’t believe you battled twelve trainers,” Jessie groaned after the duo finally exited Viridian Forest again, this time on the south side.
“They all challenged me first,” Joey said.
“You specifically withdrew Misdreavus so they would,” the girl critiqued. “What do you have against those Pallet Town kids that made you go to the effort of battling everyone on the way just in case it was one of them?”
“Professor Oak rejected my sponsorship at first last year,” Joey explained. “He changed his mind later, of course.”
“Of course.”
“But I don’t mind reminding him of the correctness of his decision every now and again,” Joey finished.
“You’re really vindictive,” Jessie eventually said.
“In my defence, those kids were quite arrogant.”
“I noticed that the one with the Charmander had a bit of an attitude problem,” Jessie admitted with a sigh. She shook her head. “But still, let’s travel more normally now. Happiny got tired from all the battling.”
“It’s alright,” Joey replied with narrowed eyes. “I don’t have to battle everyone anymore. The Pallet Town trio, I know their faces now.”
A short bout of silence reigned as the duo continued their way towards Viridian City.
“Please get help,” Jessie finally said.
Any conversation about Joey requiring a therapist to work through his childhood trauma was then promptly interrupted by a humanoid Pokemon stepping in their way and raising its Scythe-like arms.
“Sycther,” the large bug-type Pokemon said with narrowed eyes and swung its blades on the path leading from Viridian Forest to Viridian City.
Joey narrowed his eyes. He’d recalled Misdreavus a long time ago, although Rattata was still out.
“Interesting.” He hadn’t gone deep into the forest as he’d originally considered since he now had a baby Pokemon with him. But to have a Scyther challenge him of its own volition? He hadn’t expected that.
-/-
There were several types of Pokemon that every trainer going through the Viridian forest hoped to encounter. Scyther and Heracross were the most famous bug-types in the region despite their rarity because they were outliers, namely, they were naturally quite strong, some would say, so strong they didn’t really count as bug types in the first place.
The difference was stark. Both Scyther and Heracross were as tall as a human and could pummel just about anything to death if they so desired. It wasn’t really something comparable to a Weedle, Kakuna or even a Beedrill.
But as mentioned previously, both Pokemon were as popular as they were rare. There were bug catchers who dedicated a year of their journey to catching one of them, and it still occasionally failed.
Joey narrowed his eyes at the light-green bug-type Pokemon that was just as tall as him. “I don’t think a Scyther can be found so close to the entrance of the forest,” Joey mused. “Which means that you… followed us here,” he concluded sharply.
The Scyther’s sharp eyes widened in surprise, before a malicious grin spread across its face, and it dragged its blades together to create an incredibly grating noise.
“The question now becomes…” Joey continued. “Why?”
The bug Pokemon raised a blade and pointed it at Joey imperiously, or rather, more specifically, at a Pokeball at Joey’s belt. “Scyther, Scy, ther,” it hissed eagerly.
“You’ve been watching, that’s obvious. I guess I have been getting into a lot of fights recently,” Joey determined before turning to his starter. “Come back, Rattata, there’s no reason not to give him what he wants.” He turned to the eager bug type, whom he’d never expected to see outside of a very thick forest. Seeing it on the normal dirt road to Viridian, interspersed with fences and a few small trees, was a tad jarring.
“So who are you interested in?” Joey asked. “Misdreavus, Metapo-”
“Scythe!” the Pokemon shouted excitedly. The scythe that had previously been pointed at Joey’s Pokebelt went up to tap the Scyther on the chest. Then it pointed again at the Pokebelt and dismissively waved at the forest.
“Ratt, ratttt,” Rattata chittered angrily from beside Joey, hackles raised.
The Scyther smirked and dropped its blades.
“Is he saying what I think he’s saying?” Joey asked slowly, looking down at his starter.
Rattata had gone up to his haunches and was glaring at the bug type. He looked up at Joey and nodded.
“So you think you’re better than Metapod, huh?” Joey asked sarcastically. “You’re big, strong, sharp, fast, the pride of any trainer’s team. Much better than a stupid Metapod?”
The Scyther, seemingly not really understanding the sarcasm inherent in Joey’s words, proudly nodded its head several times in a row.
“Scyther, scy scy,” the bug type nodded sagely before spreading out its arms and buzzing its wings.
“You defeat Metapod and join my team instead, huh?” Joey asked again.
Scyther nodded proudly.
Joey smirked. “An interesting proposition.” His hand rested on Metapod’s Pokeball. “I have a counteroffer.” He tapped the button and Metapod materialised in a beam of red light.
She was…
Furious.
“How about…” Joey started, dragging out the words, “you go jump off a cliff and die, you fucking knock-off praying mantis.”
Scyther’s eyes narrowed angrily at the trainer’s retort.
The pretence was dropped, and the wings buzzed, the Scyther shooting forward with green energy on its blades.
“Scyther!” it shouted.
Metapod’s mouth opened, glowing purple. A web of Toxic Thread was sent out to cover the entirety of the airspace between the two Pokemon.
Scyther, however, not to be taken lightly, had seemingly expected the move and frantically jumped up, wings buzzing even more, to the point where Joey’s hoodie fluttered in the wind.
The bug-type Pokemon did a large leap and front flip over the Toxic Thread, aided by the wings and descended from above, blades crossed in an X.
“Reel it in,” Joey said in a bored voice. Scyther might have dodged, but Metapod hadn’t let go of the Toxic Thread yet; it was still attached to her mouth.
At Joey’s order, for lack of a better phrasing, Metapod slurped up the thread she’d previously spat out like a long noodle, pulling the entire net alongside it.
Joey calmly observed that his battles were slowly reaching a level where terrains got reshaped, if only a little.
The net didn’t wind itself back to fit into Metapod’s mouth, but slammed into her and into the Scyther descending from above.
To its credit, Scyther quickly adjusted, turning mid-air to face the net and angrily swipe his Fury Cutter at it.
Everything was a blur. Shreds of Toxic Thread spun in the air and were picked up by the wind, flying away.
Scyther tumbled awkwardly to its feet a few meters behind Metapod, having had to distance itself to fully deflect the net.
“Toxic Thread,” Joey said coldly. There wasn’t really a reason to change the approach.
Another net shot towards Scyther.
Instead of facing it head-on or jumping over it, the bug decided to let caution be the better part of valour. It blurred backwards with the help of its wings, glowing a light pink.
Joey immediately recognised agility. A surprisingly smart choice from the Pokemon.
Unfortunately.
“Iron Defence,” Joey ordered, causing Metapod to gleam in a metallic colour.
The thing was, Scyther was already faster than Metapod, and no matter how many circles it ran around his Pokemon while glowing pink with Agility, that fact wouldn’t change much.
On the other hand, a wild Scyther probably didn’t know any special attack moves, and thus, Metapod increasing her defence would fundamentally change the battle if Scyther ever managed to land a hit.
“Scyther,” the enemy shouted in frustration as it continued running circles around Metapod, increasing in speed.
“Even Swords Dance wouldn’t help much in this situation,” Joey muttered. “It would just increase the attack at the same rate as Metapod is increasing her defence.” He watched the stalemate continue. He didn’t feel the need to break it up since the deadlock was in his favour. If this Scyther was smart, it would try something else… Joey observed before shaking his head. It was still a wild Pokemon.
After a few more rounds of Agility, at which point the Scyther was likely as fast as it was going to get, but Metapod was also the hardest she would ever be, the Scyther once again blurred into light-green motion.
Rather than just circling Metapod, doubles started appearing in its path.
“Oh, Double Team,” Joey observed. “How original,” he said sarcastically.
Scyther seemed to not only hear, but also understand his words. All the doubles that had been created. All 12 of them blinked forward with a staggering speed. Joey could barely follow it.
But he didn’t need to; there was only one move that made sense in this situation.
“Spin it,” he ordered calmly at the now incredibly stiff Metapod. As ordered, Metapod started spitting out a thick deluge of thread at an angle that caused her to fall on her back and start spinning rapidly, creating a circus-tent-sized net coverage which promptly deleted 11 of the Scyther’s as they dissipated upon contact.
Only one Scyther cut its way through the net, bringing down a Fury Cutter straight down onto Metapod’s head.
“Bite it,” Joey ordered calmly.
Metapod finished its spin, her jaw glowed green, her mouth clamped shut on the blade of the Scyther.
The battlefield froze.
“No way,” Jessie muttered from behind.
“1000 style points,” Joey commented. “That’s gotta sting.”
“Scyther!” the angry bug type shouted and brought down its second cleaver in a furious Slash.
“Keep biting, poison it.”
Metapod took the Slash like a champ, although with several uses of Iron Defences, she probably barely felt it.
Scyther didn’t deal with the purple poison spreading through its body with its arm as the starting point nearly as well. It yowled in pain and tried to rip itself free. It couldn’t. For better or worse, Metapod was a new addition to the Pokemon’s right cleaver.
“Thread it,” Joey ordered, at which String Shot started spilling out of Metapod’s mouth and converging like a sort of demented containment foam onto Scyther’s form.
As more and more of its arms became a lost cause, Scyther painfully stemmed its feet on the ground and buzzed its wings. Barely, just barely, it managed to lift Metapod and itself into the air. Higher and higher it went, purple poison spreading across its body and the cocoon beginning now to envelop the torso.
Once the Scyther reached a high point, it suddenly turned downwards and started spinning, turning the entrapment into an impromptu Seismic Toss, or Primary Lotus, depending on your taste.
“Bro thinks he’s him,” Joey muttered with a bored look in his eyes. In comparison to the gym battle, this was quite lame. The result had never been in question. “Electro Web,” he ordered as the two Pokemon were just about to reach the ground.
The duo lit up an electric yellow. Scyther’s wings, which had been hastening the decline, locked up. The balance that had determined Metapod as the first to hit the ground was broken. Now, both of them crashed together headfirst.
A large plume of dust was sent up into the air as a crash resounded through the dirt road.
Joey covered his eyes and felt the wind buffer his hoodie.
The result…
The dust eventually dissipated, revealing a knocked-out Scyther completely covered in a white cocoon with swirls in its eyes. A little crater to tell the visual journey of what had transpired.
Above the Scyther, Metapod stood, hard, erect, unharmed.
“String him up, boys,” Joey said. “We have places to be.”
A minute later, Scyther was hanging off a nearby tree, its cocoon attached by a thick string.
The cocoon gently swung left and right in the breeze.
“Alright, let’s get out of here,” Joey determined once he’d made sure the presentation was artistic enough.
He and Jessie walked through the destroyed road with its shredded Toxic Thread, normal String Shot and the circle which Scyther had dug into the ground with its legs as it used Agility.
“You’re not going to catch it?” Jessie asked after a minute of them walking down the road, leaving the Scyther more and more behind.
“Why would I?” Joey asked.
“It’s a rare Pokemon, no?”
“Metapod beat its ass into the next dimension. What’s rarity got to do with anything?”
“I mean, it’s a wild Pokemon. Pokemon need trainers to reach their full potential,” Jessie argued. A grin suddenly spread across her face. “Actually, with its rarity, you could have sold it!” she determined.
Joey had never thought about selling Pokemon, or trading them. It seemed sort of scummy. He would continue making his money in the gambling arena, thank you very much. “I don’t think I’m interested in selling Pokemon.”
A moment of silence passed.
“You’re a weird trainer, you know that?” Jessie asked. “That Scyther was very strong for a wild specimen, even I can see that.”
“Third badge level, very talented,” Joey agreed.
“So, why?”
“Bad attitude. You don’t join a team by insulting someone in it and trying to take their space. I might have caught it had it asked for a normal battle and shown what it did. It obviously trains, or battles a lot, so hard work clearly isn’t an issue, but a team needs harmony, not disruption,” Joey briefly explained. It wouldn’t have been bad to have a Scizor in the future. Good steel type. One of the few agile ones. But, well, his philosophy was simple. What was important was a Pokemon’s personality, not its strength.
“I see,” Jessie eventually said.
Their silence was eventually disrupted, not by one of their group, but by a third person shouting a name.
“Joey!” a young boy wearing jeans and a white shirt shouted from down the road on the way to Viridian.
Joey recognised him and sighed. “Michael,” he greeted the other boy once they’d reached each other and stepped to the side of the road to exchange a few words.
He didn’t have any particular feelings for Michael, other than a small sense of camaraderie from the fact that the boy was another one of Saffron’s youngsters. Not many had stuck with the road, and despite Michael’s relative inadequacy as a human being, he did have persistence.
“Funny seeing you here, but why are you coming back to Viridian?” the boy taunted. “Did you get wiped in the forest?”
“What the f-” Jessie started, but Joey raised his hand to stop her.
He turned to Michael. “Yes, I tried camping, but it was very dark, and I got very scared,” he said in a deadpan voice.
The other boy smiled knowingly and turned his nose into the air. “Ha, as expected. You might have two more badges than I, but you’ll always be the junior I beat on the first day of our journey!”
“How’s Pidgey and Spearow?” Joey asked politely.
“Pidgeotto now!” Michael corrected. “He evolved recently! They’re both learning Steel Wing. Flint won’t know what hit him. Anyway, I have to go. I’m going to catch a Scyther in Viridian, you wouldn’t get it.”
“A Scyther?” Joey sighed.
Michael nodded. “I think I like Pokemon that can fly, and I always thought Scyther looked cool. I know they’re quite rare, but I believe in my team, they’re the best scouts!”
“Well, good luck with that,” Joey eventually said, thinking of the Scyther hanging unconscious off a tree literally ten minutes down the road.
“Smell ya later, noob!” Michael shouted and started running off.
“Wait!” Joey suddenly shouted.
Michael froze and turned around in surprise. “What, you wanna battle? Your team of pansies is probably wiped, so I didn’t want to bother.”
“No,” Joey said while shaking his head. “Can you just name six numbers, pick anything between 1 and 42?”
“Why?” Michael asked suspiciously.
“Just do me the favour,” Joey insisted.
The boy seemed to consider before nodding and laughing. “Why not? Here are your numbers, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 because that’s what my team will be by the end of this year. Six number 1 Pokemon!” he shouted, then he ran off.
“What a lucky idiot,” Jessie marvelled.
“Yeah, I know,” Joey said, “Why do you think I asked him for the lottery numbers?”
Jessie looked at him with a blank look.
Then she started laughing.
Comments
bor902
Glad to hear it! All my stories have somewhat different vibes, so it makes sense you can distinguish. This is the most light-hearted one I'd say lmao
Gremlin Jack
Nah, they're both counting money, 'cos Jessie asked to go halfsies on the ticket.
Gremlin Jack
With each chapter it is confirmed, this is your story that I enjoy the most. Although Video Game Cultivator is a close second.
Green0Photon
I want next chapter to start with Jessie and Joey walking out of a lotto shop with Jessie being shocked at all the cash Joey just won.
