ImmovableMage
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032 Disappointing Expectations
🕑 Added 2022-06-08 10:44:39 +0000 UTC– Era of the Wastes, Cycle 215, Season of the Setting Sun, Day 16 –
“S-sorry for being late,” apologized Lori.
Elena stood up and walked over.
“No worries,” replied Tiana. “We still need to pick a mission, anyway.”
“How are you holding up?” asked Elena. She examined her best friend concernedly.
“It’s—” Lori sighed and shook her head. “I’ll manage. Thanks for asking and thanks for letting me join the group. I feel better if I keep myself occupied. Spellwork, exercise, mana crafting, I’ll take anything.”
Tiana nodded in sympathy. “Thanks for joining us. We can align on a sparring and mission work schedule later.”
“We can also train together outside schedule,” interjected Elena. “Or visit the teahouse again.” She eyed Lori concernedly. “You need to relax, too.”
Lori gave Elena a hug.
“Any news?” asked Siling.
Lori shook her head with sad eyes.
Siling took a deep breath. “Terry will turn up again. He just has to.” She blinked in quick succession. “Anyway, what’s the hunt for today?”
***
Terry sat on a bear pelt from his non-magical beast hunting days. He went over his notes.
“Fire works. Coldfire works. Lightning only works if it sparks a fire. Piercing the brain is useless. Piercing the heart is useless. Hmph.”
“Hissss.” A ghoul laid on the floor in front of him – or what was left of a ghoul to be more accurate. The ghoul only consisted of a head, a neck, and a torso. Terry had amputated its limbs, and he had pinned its torso to the floor with two spears.
“Shh,” shushed Terry. “Be quiet, Alrick Four.”
Annoyingly, the creature was still alive, albeit not kicking. Terry looked at the hissing head that was turned his way.
Can I call that thing alive?
“Probably not. Instructor Khaled would reprimand me for my inaccurate use of terminology.”
Then, he would give a lecture on the differences between deathlife, undead, and unlife. In the physical world, death is the absence of life, just like darkness is the absence of light. In the mana world, however, the aspect pairings go beyond mere absence. They’re energies with opposite charges. Darkness erases light and light banishes darkness. Death vanquishes life and life conquers death.
“Well, it’s not life. I know that at least. It converts mana to the death aspect, which is technically the negative energy counterpart to the positive energy life aspect. That it carries any energy from the death-life-spectrum rules out unlife. It’s not properly living, but only guided by the mana curse – so not deathlife either. Undead.”
No shit.
Terry frowned. “What do you call an undead before it’s finally dead-dead? Life is to ‘alive’ as undead is to…” Terry scrunched up his face.
I hated these exercises at school.
“Hissss.”
“Not helping.” Terry clicked his tongue. “Forget it.”
Terry looked at his mechanical clock and shook his head. He took a long spear and poked the ghoul in frustration.
“How are you still not dead yet?” Terry scowled. “I liked the first three Alricks better.”
Terry narrowed his eyes at Alrick Four. “You are a normal ghoul, right? If the ghoul plague was that much of a pain to deal with, surely they would have given it more time in the introduction class.”
It was only the intermediate-level introduction class. You were not supposed to storm the undead lairs on your own.
“Nenenenene,” retorted Terry out loud while making faces. “Hmph.” He sighed. “This will be a pain.”
Terry glanced back at Alrick Four. “Your mother wasn’t a troll, was she?” He snorted. “That’s something Lori would say.”
“Hissss.”
“Not to you, Alrick. Lori is suffering from a severe lack of humor whenever one of your little namesakes is around.”
“Alright, I don’t think you have an equivalent of bleeding out.” Terry stood up. “Off with your head! You can still salvage your reputation as the black sheep among the Alricks if you could please finally die.”
Pretty please.
Terry furrowed his brow. “Alrick Four, what happened to your limbs?!” He searched on the tunnel floor. “Wait, did the dungeon take them? Or did I misplace them?”
Losing it~
“Can a dungeon absorb amputated limbs? Uncle Samuel only talked about death.”
You were not supposed to amputate limbs. Or get them amputated, for that matter.
“The other Alricks did not have any disappearing body parts.”
The other Alricks were all burnt to a crisp.
“Or frozen to a crisp.”
A distinction without a difference in this case.
“Smartass.” Terry glanced down at the roaming ghouls. “Guess I’ll have to recruit Alrick Five.”
“Hisss.”
“Ugh. You’re ugly enough without getting all jealous, you piece of pus.”
Terry used a cheap – and slightly bent – sword to decapitate the creature. Afterwards, he examined the sword.
Stupid inscribed earth giant.
“I need to get new equipment.”
Yeah, let’s ask the nearest dungeon merchant. Oh wait. There is none!
“Hmph.” Terry looked at the sword again. “Maybe I should purchase some big nails next time.”
Maybe you should avoid running into inscribed earth giants.
“Maybe.”
Terry retrieved his coldfire-aspected dagger. Next, he carefully used the coldfire surrounding the dagger to cleanse the sword’s blade quickly. He returned the coldfire dagger to his storage bracelet.
Afterwards, he channeled some mana into the scabbard at his right hip.
Terry had chosen the right side for his dagger because it was supposed to be primarily a supportive weapon. Yes, Terry could fight with a dagger, but having reach was better. If he had to rely only on the dagger, then something was already going wrong and he was probably on the defensive. Blocking with the dagger in reverse grip felt better for him.
Terry expected the dagger to be used mostly as a finisher that supported his barrier spear. A thrust for finishing required a normal grip on the dagger, and Terry still had a tendency to prefer his right hand for the short spear.
A predictable tendency you were supposed to get rid of. The voice in Terry’s head spoke with Ma Isille’s voice.
“Please don’t do that.”
The scabbard released the inscribed dagger. Then Terry channeled some mana into the dagger and used the mana blade to create a small “X” on the sword’s hilt. Last, Terry pushed the sword into the floor.
Terry sat down again and underlined an entry in his notebook: Intel on ghoul poison. Terry did not know if the poison could be neutralized with coldfire, nor if it would lose its efficacy when exposed to the air for longer periods, nor if the earth could completely absorb it from the blade. However, these were all the means he could think of.
Terry still felt hesitant to put the contaminated weapons back into his storage bracelet. Terry knew that the thought was irrational, but it still felt… icky. Perhaps he could bring himself to put them back into his storage bracelets, but there was no way Terry would let the items anywhere near his food supplies – irrational or not. He would not put the marked items into his dimensional bag or crafter’s pendant.
Wonder what Aunt Brynn would think of you using the crafter’s pendant for your sandwiches?
“Auntie would understand. I should thank her. The time-deceleration is much more exaggerated than in the dimensional bag.”
So the last bite you eat before you starve will be fresh!
“It’s the little things that cheer me up.”
Terry glanced at the floor. The ghoul had vanished.
“Finally.” Terry returned the dagger to its scabbard.
In the past, Isille had always recommended to keep at least one backup blade ready and outside of dimensional storage items. Isille herself always wore a dagger as a backup blade and a knife as a backup for the backup.
Terry and the twins understood the point, but any additional items could become annoying quickly when you moved around a lot.
You needed to properly secure the items in their sheath so that they did not fall out. This, however, would also impair the speed with which you could draw them, which in turn made them question the usefulness. If drawing the dagger required the same time as retrieving the dagger from storage, then what was the point? In the end, Lori was the only one who kept her daggers equipped most of the time.
However, Terry had some time to think recently.
Whoop-dee-doo.
In retrospect, Terry did not like being encumbered by something he did not use frequently. The dagger sheath got in the way. A single sheath upset his balance, and he would need to adjust. Even a light item could become annoying over long periods.
All other – more defensible – reasons were just post-hoc justifications.
Here in the dungeon, Terry reconsidered his position. If he were to experience any shenanigans that could affect his storage items, then he preferred at least one weapon available.
So you can chew on the weapon while starving to death.
At least, the inscribed dagger could be drawn quickly. The safety inscription was sufficient, and Terry did not need to secure the dagger any further.
His throwing needles, on the other hand, were more problematic. Terry had improvised a sheath using pelts, threads from his ropes, and some tertium he bent into shape. He moved his Academy bag further back, but made sure that it still hid the pocket on his left into which he had sewn his dimensional bag. Then Terry attached his improvised sheath to his belt.
Nom nom nom.
“Shut up.”
***
“Get up!” ordered Terry. He laid on the floor of the tunnel leading to his cavern. His feet were dangling down the wall.
No.
“Get up!”
No.
“Get up, get up, get up!”
What’s the point?
“The point is that you need to get out of here! The point is that your whaka need help!”
Your whaka are probably dead.
“SHUT UP!” roared Terry. He sat up.
“““Hisss.””” The downstairs neighbors complained about the noise.
“You, too.” A tear ran down Terry’s cheek.
All your plans are stupid, anyway.
Terry took a deep breath. “I killed Alrick Eight in single combat.”
Great. If you pull them to you one by one, you will only need what? One or two seasons to get through them all? Not accounting for the fact that there will be EVEN MORE of them waiting in the next area.
Terry clenched his teeth. He retrieved his notebook and looked over the entries.
“No idea what happened to the limbs of Alrick Four. The limbs of Alrick Five did not disappear.”
You probably lost them. Just like you lost your marbles. You are good at losing things.
“Crushing the head of Alrick Six worked.”
And now the war hammer is all icky.
“Crushing the torso of Alrick Seven worked, too.”
Icky. And you had to crush the whole torso before it finally disappeared. How are you going to use that? Put on some weight and sit on it?
Terry circled the entry: Let something heavy fall on them.
Like what?
“The boulders.”
But then they will get icky.
“I know.”
The boulders only fit into the crafter’s pendant.
“I know.”
But that’s where the food is!
“I know,” growled Terry.
Icky.
“…”
How are you going to retrieve the boulder? Gravitational Attraction won’t work for that. Or are you trying to rip out your own arm? Excellent idea! You are getting more smarter all the time! Haha, MORE smartER!
“You are getting obnoxious.”
I am you, so… Bit of an own goal there, don’t you think?
Terry scribbled again. “Rope. Pulley.”
You don’t have any wheels with you.
“But I have lots of rope and perhaps I can improvise some wheels.”
Terry looked down at the ghouls. “If there was a slope, the boulder could be dropped at the highest point and then it would roll. It would crush them all in one go.” Terry made a note.
Except there isn’t a slope. Even if there was, that would not help you in the other areas. Even if there was, the ghouls would pile up and block the boulder.
“I could use the glove to provide additional acceleration. Also, the ghouls would vanish after they’re dead-dead. Dungeon, remember?”
Alright, if the area would be different than it is and if all other areas would coincidentally be different as well, then you would have a way to cut down the time required. Maybe you would only need two months! Hooray!
Terry looked over his notes again. He added another circle – perhaps the sixth for that particular entry.
“I still need to find a way to herd the ghouls.”
The sixth circle is definitely going to help. The first five were obviously insufficient. Seven might be excessive, though.
“Back to the core question.”
What’s the point?
“Why is there no exit?”
Maybe there is one, and you are too blind to find it.
“Could all the different areas count as one room?”
Don’t know. Ask Instructor Samuel. Then again, strictly speaking, you haven’t even cleared the area, have you?
“The ghouls aren’t dungeon creatures.”
Not yet. Maybe they will get assimilated soon. Maybe you will get assimilated, too.
A chill ran down Terry’s back.
There is also that slime.
Terry frowned.
“Could it be like the inscribed giant and there is a special trigger?”
Didn’t hear any bells. Maybe this dungeon doesn’t like bells?
“Another possibility is that this area functions as a mana reservoir room.”
The ghouls emit mana, too, though. If this was about the ratio of dungeon-foreign mana, then the passage should have opened already.
“Then where is the exit?”
Going in circles, Terry.
“‘When lost, start at the beginning.’”
I don’t believe that’s what Uncle Samuel meant.
“I’m missing something.”
Yeah, your marbles.
“I need to have another look around. Get a new Alrick. I need to do something. Get up!”
No.
“Get up,” growled Terry.
I don’t wanna.
“I did not tell you to ‘want’ it. I told you to do it. Screw ‘want.’ I did not want to go into Alrick’s dungeon, either. I did because I had to.”
Your instructors would be soo proud, mocked Terry’s mind.
“So would I,” barked Terry through clenched teeth. “It’s what I would be proud of. I am proud that we all made it out of that dungeon. I want to be proud to get out of this one, too. I have to get out if I am to see my family again. I have to get out and request help if my companions are trapped in here.
“I have to get out. I have to. I have to try. That’s who I want to be. That’s who I want to become. That’s what counts. That overrules you. You don’t count.”
Well, that was uncalled for. That hurts, you know.
“IT’S SUPPOSED TO! You’re supposed to get used to it! You’re supposed to walk it off and if the hurt does not go away, THEN AT LEAST YOU WILL HAVE MOVED ON!
Don’t scream! You’re embarrassing me in front of the neighbors.
“To others, you will be the person who walked forward!”
Others? Who? The Alricks? I don’t believe they care very much.
“You! YOU! Future YOU!” Terry glared with red eyes. “I! I will look back and know that I walked… or at least made a step.”
You’ll still know that I was there with you. You won’t forget me. I won’t go away.
“I’ll get used to it,” growled Terry. “Screw what you feel like. Screw your moods. Screw your intrusive thoughts. You’re no different from the wasted grievance toads. It’s actions that count. Screw your bullshit!”
Terry talked himself into defiant anger. His pulse quickened, and he stood up while continuing to glare into nothingness.
You have failed so far.
“And every failure lets me eliminate one more option,” retorted Terry. “Every failure allows me to get that much closer to getting it right. I can take pride in having failed.”
Proud to be a failure? Well, that’s a new one. Go and fail, Terry! That’s one thing you are sure to succeed in. Knock yourself out.
***
Isille walked out of her workroom. She was sure she heard something.
The twins were supposed to sleep, but Isille could see a light flicker under the door to Lori’s room. Isille walked closer to the door and could now distinguish the sound of crying. She knocked.
“Wh-what, oh. Y-yes?” Lori’s voice sounded unusually weak and quiet.
Isille entered and closed the door behind her.
“I-I know that I’m supposed to sleep, but I…” Lori looked down at her own feet. “I just can’t get my head around the Propel Rock spell. I know I should be able to cast it, but I… I…” Lori started sobbing.
Isille hurried over and hugged her beloved daughter.
“I… I don’t want to disappoint you again,” said Lori between her sniffles.
“Sweet child, I’ll always love you, Whaka Florine.” Isille kissed her daughter on the head and patted her back. “Don’t you understand that you are supposed to disappoint me?”
Lori furrowed her brow, but did not want to look up. She savored the hug with her mother. She could not remember why she had refused them so often.
“You’re our beloved daughter, not our puppet.” Isille kissed her daughter’s head again. “You are supposed to disappoint us at times. It’s literally impossible to fulfill everyone’s expectations. Everyone has different ideas about who you should become. Even your pa and I don’t agree on everything, nor do we expect you to always agree with us. All we ask is that you disappoint us for the right reasons. Choosing whose expectations you care about and which expectations you want to fulfill is choosing who you want to become.”
Isille continued patting Lori’s back. “I can’t even count the number of times I’ve disappointed my parents. More times for the wrong reasons than I would like to admit. Stupid dimple-faced reasons.” Isille sighed.
Isille’s gaze grew distant as she recalled her own past. “However, the biggest disappointment was one I chose for the right reasons… Did I ever tell you about my pa’s side of the family?”
Lori shook her head. She kept clinging to her ma.
“Pa was a soldier. So was his pa. So was his pa’s ma and so forth. It was a point of pride for the family that they could trace their service all the way back to the battle against the mana cursed in the Deep. Every generation included soldiers. Sigille and I are the first generation that chose not to enlist as soldiers. I can’t imagine my pa’s disappointment back when Sigille informed him of her decision. However, I still remember his face when I told him that I, too, wanted to become a Guardian instead.
“Anyway, that was a decision for the right reasons. I like mission work, but I also enjoy teaching. Furthermore, being a soldier has changed over time, especially in the other empires. Heck, according to what Sigille has told me, being a Guardian in the Tiv Empire is changing fast, too. Yes, Pa was disappointed at first, but as a former soldier he understood the commitment to follow orders and that you had to be careful in choosing whose orders you are willing to follow.”
Isille looked down at her daughter and established eye contact. “Just like you have to be careful in choosing whose expectations you try to fulfill. Be careful whom you grant such power over your future. Be discerning when deciding whom to allow into your life. Be ready to disappoint. Ensure that it is for the right reasons. You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”
***
