xkarnation
patreon
[Tree] Chapter 398: Birds and the Bees
🕑 Added 2024-11-28 11:59:39 +0000 UTCStella sat on the couch of her home while Diana let out an exasperated sigh. "You got it so wrong it might as well be backward."
"So you're telling me it's not a type of wrestling?" Stella retorted.
"Yes, that is exactly what I'm telling you. Where did you even get that idea?" Diana pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.
Stella shrugged, "The brothel? They gave me a list of opponents to choose from."
Diana gave her a look of disbelief.
"Look for yourself," Stella picked up and showed Diana the binder she had shown her earlier, "They have the person's measurements and even a detailed diagram of their form. Weirdly, there's nothing about cultivation realms, but I suppose that makes sense since this brothel caters to mortals." Stella paused as she got an idea, "What if we started a brothel, but for cultivators—"
"Stella, the Ashfallen Sect is not moving into that industry."
"Why not? My human pet's establishment seemed quite profitable if the golden crowns I stole from his storage room were anything to go by."
Diana chucked the open binder onto the coffee table and fell into a nearby seat. While nursing her head, she looked at Stella through her fingers.
Stella returned a grin, which only made Diana roll her eyes.
"Fiiine, we won't open a brothel." Stella crossed her arms. "But I'm still confused. Why were Elaine and Morrigan laughing when you dragged me away? What's the big deal?"
"Because it's not a hobby, sport, or a business opportunity." Diana drew her hand away and looked into her eyes, "The intense cuddling, as you call it, has an official name. It's called sex, and it's an activity done to create children."
"What does sex stand for?"
Diana tilted her head, "What do you mean?"
"It's an acronym for something, right? Maybe swift, efficient, and..."
Diana snorted.
"What's so funny?" Stella frowned.
"No, it's nothing. Continue." Diana waved her off, "What does X stand for?"
"Mhm..." Stella thought for a while but drew up a blank, "Okay, fine. Not an acronym. So sex is just the name of the sport."
"Not a sport."
"It seemed quite exhausting."
"Talking to you is exhausting," Diana slumped back in her chair, "Does that make it a sport?"
Stella tapped her chin in thought.
"Don't answer that," Diana sighed and looked at her. "Here's a question. You said it seemed quite exhausting, meaning you watched people in the act, right? Did you feel anything unusual while watching? Maybe a tingling."
"A tingling?" Stella frowned and thought back, "Was I supposed to?"
Diana raised the two binders, one with women and another with men. "What about when you look at these?"
Stella glanced between them and then at her body. After a moment, she shrugged, "No?"
"Interesting," Diana left them open on the table and drummed her fingers on the armrest of her chair while she muttered to herself. "She isn't interested in either? Has her childhood affected her to this extent, or has the influence of heaven turned her impotent?"
"I can hear you." Stella protested. She wasn't sure what Diana said, but it didn't sound very kind.
"Stella, do you love anyone?"
"Yes, of course." Stella paused, "I love Ash and also you."
Diana's eyes widened a little.
"You two are family to me," Stella added, and Diana's excitement died a little.
"I see," Diana mused, "Wait, you're half-tree, right?"
Stella nodded, "My mother is likely the world tree."
"And you were raised by a tree."
"Yup."
"Can you be pollinated by a bee?"
Stella tilted her head as she tried to understand Diana's question.
"Ignore me. That was a dumb question." Diana's voice dropped to a whisper. "Or was it?"
"Diana, I'll be honest, I'm even more confused now than before." Stella grumbled, "You aren't very good at explaining things."
"I promise you, I'm not the problem here." Diana insisted.
"Uh-huh. If you say so." Stella crossed her arms, "So this sex thing can create children. How does that work."
"Now we are getting somewhere!" Diana perked up. "If you have sex with a guy, there's a chance you can get pregnant, and then a few months later, you will give birth to a child. Wait—do you have any interest in having children?"
"Mhm..." Stella pondered for a while and then remembered Jasmine. "Yeah, I want one. They can be rather useful. How long until they can attend meetings and cultivate?"
"You know what? Let's shelve the child idea for now."
"Ryker is already at the Star Core Realm, and he's what, five? That's quite a long time, but I'm sure my child will be even more exceptional. Star Core Realm by three years old at the latest."
"I can't believe what I'm hearing." Diana groaned.
"This is a great idea. I can raise my own personal attendant." Stella ignored Diana's protesting stare, "I want a child now. How do I do this sex thing correctly?"
"I refuse to tell you."
Stella stood up, "I'm going to the brothel to ask."
"Sit back down," Diana snapped, and Stella hesitantly sat back down. What followed was Diana's lengthy explanation of the art of intense cuddling. Right as Stella felt herself drifting off to sleep, Diana asked.
"Are you listening?"
"Uh? Ah, yes."
"Okay, what did I say then?"
Stella opened her mouth to answer but drew a blank. "Could you explain it again to me like I'm five? That was too complicated."
"No, that sounds weird." Diana shook her head.
"Fine, explain it in weapon terms."
Diana gave her a death stare before sighing for the tenth time. "Fine. You are the sheath. He has a sword. If his sword goes in and out of your sheath enough times, there's a chance you will get pregnant. Understand?"
Stella slowly nodded, "I'm a sheath, got it. But what if we had sex? You don't have a sword."
Diana smirked and brought out what looked like an arm-length wooden pole, "We can make one."
Stella studied the worn wood with confusion, "A wooden sword? This will get me pregnant, too?"
Diana shook her head, "No, that's the best part! And it's not a sword."
"If the purpose of sex is to make children, but this doesn't get me pregnant, what's the point?"
Diana shrugged, "It's fun?"
"Ha!" Stella pointed an accusing finger, "So it is a hobby."
Diana facepalmed, "No..."
"And hobbies can be monetized for profit!"
"You are missing the entire point."
"I don't think I am," Stella smirked, "You are just trying to backtrack after I caught you out.'
"Fine." Diana rose from her seat and headed toward Stella's bedroom with a sly grin. Pausing half a step into the room, she glanced at her and said, "Are you coming?"
"To do what?" Stella asked as she walked over.
Diana grinned wildly as she waved the thing that definitely looked like a tiny wooden sword around. "I want to show you something."
"Right now?"
"Yes. Right now." Diana said, taking her hand and leading her inside. "Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything too drastic. I'll just show you the ropes for when you find that special someone or if you want some solo fun."
The door slowly closed behind them with a soft click.
***
Jasmine opened one eye and pulled on her link with her Master. To her utter surprise, it wasn't feeding her negativity. Stella was having... fun?
"What poor soul is she torturing now?" Jasmine mumbled as she closed her eyes and tried to focus back on cultivating. But a sudden door slam and laughter in the corridor broke her focus. "Master has a friend over?"
Jasmine got to her feet and wandered over to her bedroom door. Opening it, she peeked into the corridor and was confused at what she saw. A disheveled Stella and Diana were stumbling out of the room, both with massive grins.
"That was exhausting," Diana said, half-jokingly, before collapsing on the sofa in the lounge. From there, Jasmine could see Diana's usually cold and composed face was tinged red.
"See? I told you it's a sport," Stella smirked.
"Yeah, yeah," Diana waved her off, "I don't know how you did it, but you're the one who turned it into a competition." The demoness then seemed to spot Jasmine as she raised a hand in greeting, "Hey, Jaz. I hope we didn't disturb you."
"Don't worry, Grand Elder Diana, you didn't." Jasmine wandered into the lounge and looked between them. "Master, did you find a new hobby?"
Stella and Diana exchanged a look.
"Yeah... something like that." Stella sat down and grabbed a fruit from the fruit bowl on the coffee table. "Though I still have much to learn if I'm to defeat Diana." She took a large bite and munched on the fruit until she suddenly froze.
Jasmine felt Ashlock's familiar presence blanket the room a moment after her Master. They all looked to the ceiling in unison, and Jasmine felt her Master's father's voice echo in her mind as she quickly ate a mind fortress pill.
"Stella? What are you doing here? I thought you went to investigate the Eyepatch group to find Vincent Nightrose's main body."
Stella choked on the fruit and had to gulp water to help it down, "Yes, Tree. I was just leaving."
"Are you okay? You look a little flustered."
Stella used aether Qi to flatten her hair and remove the creases in her clothes. "Nothing to worry about. I just got too absorbed in fighting practice with Diana."
"You got back your fighting spirit? That's great," Ashlock sounded genuinely relieved, "I've got to return to learning blood dao. After dissolving all the blood pills into a small lake and absorbing blood Qi from the Nightrose Elders I devoured, I feel on the cusp of grasping it."
"That's great, Tree!"
Trying her best to look composed, Diana interjected, "Why is Ashlock trying to learn blood dao?"
Stella glanced at Diana, "His new desolation Qi can annihilate other Qi types so long as he knows the dao behind them. After learning this, I had an idea."
"Let me guess, you want him to use desolation Qi to annihilate Vincent?" Diana frowned. "That won't work. Not only is Vincent's Qi stronger than Ashlock's, but he also has three affinities."
Stella shook her head, "It's not Vincent I'm after."
"Then who..."
"Vincent has to control his blood clones somehow. What if desolation Qi came in contact with the links between his clones and his main body?"
Diana's eyes widened, "You want to cut off his escape routes."
Stella nodded, "Exactly. Find and eliminate the heads, and all that's left is the body. The fight with Vincent will be a big and bloody one, and I want to ensure that once he's dead, he's dead for good."
"This is a good plan." Diana nodded approvingly.
"Of course it is," Stella smirked, "I'm the one who came up with it."
Diana exchanged a look with Jasmine, and they both rolled their eyes.
"You two are such haters. Anyway, I'm off." Stella vanished in a flash of aether before either of them could say goodbye. Ashlock's all-encompassing presence also shifted away, leaving Jasmine alone with Diana.
"What are you looking at, Jaz?" Diana said as she sluggishly got up from the chair and ran a hand through her long black hair.
"You and Master weren't fighting, were you?"
Diana raised a brow, "How did you know?"
Jasmine tapped her forehead, "My link with my Master. She finds fighting frustrating and enraging, but she was having fun."
"Oh heavens," Diana suddenly looked horrified, "I forgot about your link!"
***
Stella sat opposite Sullivan the following day. She didn't want to admit it, but it had taken her a few hours to locate the man. She foolishly hadn't thought of a way to track his whereabouts or instructed anyone to watch him. Luckily, the man had returned to his brothel, where they were now.
The man's office was quite spacious, though disorderly. Compared to his well-tailored suit and neat hair, the room showed his wild side.
Mhm, no tingling feeling. I still don't know what Diana was talking about. I didn't feel it even while she showed me what to do in my room. Stella mused while she leaned back in Sullivan's large armchair. The giant of a man was sitting opposite her on a small stool that looked comically small compared to his statue. However, I did find it really fun. Maybe because it was something so new? While Sullivan offered to assist with those activities, I still don't believe he would survive. Also, does he really have a sword down there? I find that hard to believe.
Whatever the case, this isn't what she had come to the brothel for.
"Where is that woman that was working with you? Kaelith, I think, was her name?"
Sullivan bowed, "Reporting to the Mistress. Lord Flamehunt urgently called Kaelith back to the main residence."
"Oh?" Stella leaned on her palm, "Why was that?"
"I don't know for certain, but I have a theory, Mistress. If you're willing to hear it." Sullivan tensed up as Guppy shifted behind him. Stella had let her pet out of the aether for a short walk and to intimidate her human pet a little, of course.
"Go ahead," Stella gestured for him to continue.
Sullivan gulped, "Erm, well, you see, before she left, Kaelith received a concerning notice from the Eyepatch group." Reaching into his suit pocket, he withdrew a piece of paper and slit it across the table.
Stella lazily used telekinesis to raise the paper, unfurl it, and read the contents.
It seems they have drastically increased blood pill production? Ten crates of blood pills will be delivered hourly, and all are expected to be distributed to the mortals of Darklight and Ashfallen City. That seems like a lot. Does that mean they have expanded operations to Ashfallen City? I don't remember any mention of them being there before. Mhm, and it says here to get rid of the pills by any means necessary. Put them in food and even in the water supply. The boss also wants members to swap out pills from the All-Seeing Eye gift boxes for blood pills and give them to friends and family? Each crate comes with a spirit stone payment, and those who don't manage to distribute all the pills given will be killed.
Stella looked around the floating paper at Sullivan, "When did this start?"
"Last night," Sullivan replied. "I don't think the boss cares about lying low anymore. He's gone crazy. He even sent me many boxes of pills despite exiling me."
"Did you distribute them?"
"Of course not. I stored them in the basement."
Stella stood, "Wait here. I'll be right back." Dropping down through the aether, she arrived in the basement. Sure enough, it was overflowing with crates in such a short time. Sullivan was still alive, meaning the killing of those who failed to distribute the pills was a lie.
Vincent doesn't have the manpower or care to carry out that empty threat, but the members of the Eyepatch group don't know that. This is totally unsustainable. Where the hell is he getting this much blood to make these pills from anyway? Just how far has his reach spread...
Stella stepped through the aether again and arrived at the bakery across the road. She caught the pot-bellied baker red-handed. The man had a crate of blood pills in the corner of his kitchen and was manically stuffing the pills into a loaf of bread.
Before the man noticed her presence, she was already gone and returned to the office.
That baker had no idea what was happening a few days ago but had grown sick. I think Sullivan put blood pills in the water supply that he had been drinking from. It's terrifying how, in such a short time, he went from confused citizen to shoving blood pills in the bread that he sells.
"This is more serious than I thought," Stella said, and Sullivan nodded.
"I couldn't agree more. I fear the night of reckoning could be as early as tonight."
"The night of reckoning..." Stella drummed her fingers as she thought about what Vincent could possibly be up to. Wait. If he uses blood Qi to control his blood clones from afar, what's to say he can't control everyone whose spirit roots are clogged up with his blood Qi?
"Say Sullivan, when I pretended to be interested in joining the Eyepatch group, you said the effect of the blood pills was temporary. You have to keep taking them, correct?"
"That is right, Mistress."
"Do you know where these pills are being made?"
Such a sharp increase in production would need Vincent physically present. Even if we can't kill Vincent, I need to find the source of these pills and cut them off.
"I believe the largest facility is under the Flamehunt's residence," Sullivan said, stroking his chin. "There's a prison nearby managed by the Flamehunt family, and I heard they were using the inmates in the production process."
"Perfect." Stella stood once more and ensured her pendant hung securely around her neck. "Let's go find us a bloodsucker."
[Author note]
In case it wasn't obvious, for now, Stella is asexual (she basically has no attraction to anyone). Diana and Stella did not have sex. Diana just showed her what to do, and they had a competition (you are free to guess what that was).
Comments
-Sanguine-
Good point about Diana being young as well. As a sheltered young mistress of her sect and only being 20 or 21 or so, she’s probably never had a partner either. And Stella is what, 17 or 18 by now?
bob barker
"looked comically small compared to his statue" -> stature "slit" -> slid
Iva Reis
Haha while Stella seems asexual... Tbh when you are a young girl you still don't understand. The only difference is the no tingling.
Ivorywinter
Tyftc! I honestly wish Ash heard the birds and bees convo. His reaction would just be priceless
ChrisG12
I think Diana is 2 or 3 years older
Roombot
I love how Jaz immediately assumed Stella was torturing some poor soul, because what else would she enjoy?!
Emyllia
Diana is in her early 20’s though.
Ethan Barrow
TFTC! It was done tastefully without getting too indepth.
Bernat Saenz
Stella "cuddling" with someone to make a strong baby sounds like a very plausible option.
Phoenixdrop
Well it does make a kind of sense that stela is ace but now that we know that ash REALLY needs to talk with her because no one else is ever going to understand what is going on with stela so yeah how she has a nice little talk with her dad about this at some point
VolfKami
Asking the right questions
Kennyevilmonkey
Yes, no metaphors. You have to beat her over the head with cold logic and hard information. Spell everything out and don't dance around embarrassing stuff, else she won't get it.
Billy Nguyen
Thanks for the chapter! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Kennyevilmonkey
Agreed, author might want to add a little bit more context. The "I'll just show you the ropes for when you find that special someone or if you want some solo fun." does help, but we might need a line or two after they finished having fun to further imply that they didn't go all the way and were just fooling around.
Kennyevilmonkey
The ship is sailing! If they didn't have sex, then I'm guessing she just showed how to masterbate and then they took turns? Probably for the best anyways if Stella still can't really understand these kind of things yet. Jumping straight into sex would be a step too far. I'm in agreement with everyone else here that Stella needs to have an actual, full, sit down and talk with her dad(Ash) so she can actual learn about sex, having kids, romance, and love. And not that it is JUST a fun activity. If this misunderstanding isn't corrected, I could see Stella potentially raping somebody because it is 'just fun' or 'I want a strong baby.' or something else along those lines and that is best avoided...
ChrisG12
I agree 100% but can’t help but feel bad for Stella and hope she get real love after everything. She literally was abandoned, fighting for her life since a kid with just a tree dad who could only do so much.
Alexey Gladkich
Diana has the perception of a cultivator. The story about love and relationships is very different from that of mortals.
ChrisG12
This chapter came out and I read it right before I went to the gym so now I keep thinking about it. So gym thoughts about the chapter. Diana and Stella realistically would both be very naïve about all of that, there both very young and spent better part of there life just surviving. So what they did was very reasonable and there birds and bee talk was very fitting. Stella and Diana getting together would be perfect fit and very reasonable they have been together all the time for years there very close and both was the only humans there for each other after there family either left or died. So emotionally there each other everything. Before she understands more, like have tree do a better talk, having her have a sexual activity with anyone would be almost borderline r*pe. You can be consenting to something you don’t fully understand. So Diana and Stella just doing what they did was a good choice it’s more just teenagers experimenting and not going to far.
Manlor
I wonder if Stella's Bloodline library has technique manuals about that new sport. 🤔
ChrisG12
Still routing forDiana and Stella to get together though. Diana explanation would leave a lot of people more confused, at least in the point of adult relationships. If ash is from our world I think ash would explain sex is more out of love, bonding, and relationship point of it, granted it not that way much anymore. I think Diana got more of the sex is used for fun with the whole brothel thing and the way she explained it.
Emyllia
Well I for sure thought they had sex until the note. In fact, Diana being concerned about Jasmine’s link seemed to imply that they did even more so. Diana frustratingly didn’t say literally anything about relationships, anatomy or anything else. That was the most bumbling dad explanation ever lol. One could basically never use metaphors with Stella. Y’know I didn’t even think you would write this chapter. Instead just show Stella’s reaction to it later. I certainly didn’t think Diana would pull out a phallus and get naked with Stella. If you were trying to side step the under 18 thing then this would still get Diana in trouble in the modern day.
Quentin Cozzi
Thanks for the chapter!
Demonlord
Thanks for the nice chapter 😊 Stella has definitely found a new "hobby" 🤣🤣 I wonder what she'll try next or who will be the poor guy she dissect to learn more about these "swords" 🤣🤣 Also end fight with Vincent is approaching fast, finally 😁
Xultanis
Half-tree, no attraction to humans, adopted by a tree that she sees as a father figure, and her steptree has been known to use his roots for grasping and manipulating objects.... I've seen enough memes to know what this particular recipe is.
Amosz
Diana X Stella the best ship, Also I'm disappointed that Ashlock didn't find out what the were talking about
David W. Baijense
I agree, but when I was reading it (before the authors note) I was not getting that vibe at all 😂
Drakken24619
I'm gonna take a wild guess since the whole competition thing and "wooden sword" I'm guessing she showed Stella how to do the deed with herself using said "toy" and Diana demonstrated how to reach climax, competition was probably would could climax more or make the other
David W. Baijense
I think that you might need to clear that up a lot more. Definitely did not feel like they just jerked off instead of doing the deed haha
David W. Baijense
Haha 😂 wtf
Basically God
So they know where he's going to pop up and any tricks he has will fail since Ash can just bask the area in blood-qi negating desolation! Thanks for the chapter~♥
Robert Mullins
Definitely felt like sex was the 'obvious' thing here rather than it being obvious that they didn't.
Drakken24619
Best chapter ever I was dying laughing especially at the "can you be pollinated by a bee line",also Diana and Stella ship is skyrocketing after that intense cuddling session leaving her disheveled
Captain Nuclear
That authors note cleared up alot, but uh, well. Unexpected.
