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[Shapeshifter DRAFT] Chapter 1 - 5 (Looking for feedback)
🕑 Added 2024-01-06 18:00:54 +0000 UTC[Heavy edits have been made, and the new chapters will be released sometime soon, so the text below is no longer an accurate representation]
Hey everyone! Over the last year, behind the scenes, I have started and dropped dozens of projects, with most of them never making it past the first chapter. However, over the Christmas break, I wrote around 7k words for a new story. I showed it to a few author friends and received mixed responses. Some loved the concept, while others didn't. So, I thought it would be a good idea to show my core audience (you guys) the chapters to get feedback from my target audience.
My plan is to start a second series (it might not be this one) sometime in this next year. None of this will affect Tree chapters in any way. Demonic Tree will always be the main thing that takes up the majority of my focus until its completion. But I enjoy flexing my creative muscles and find it easier to write chapters of a second series than all on one.
Anyway, with that out of the way. Below, I have the synopsis and the 7k words I have written. I am looking for feedback. Is the story concept good? Is the MC fun to read about? And if you drop it or dislike the idea, tell me why! Thanks :D
If you dislike reading here on Patreon, you can check it out on RoyalRoad, where I uploaded it under an alt. (Please don't follow it, I don't want it getting on Rising Stars)
Synopsis:
Xen is not your average Joe. In fact, he isn't even Joe. He just looks and acts like the newbie Hunter who died a horrible death in one of the many beginner dungeons that have littered the Earth since the System's arrival decades ago.
But what really lies beneath the human skinsuit once known as Joe is Xen the Mind Slime—a Shapeshifter.
Armed with the appearance and knowledge of the dead Hunter, Xen sets out to acquire new monstrous forms and abilities, all the while blending in with the other Hunters who seek to kill his own kind.
Think solo leveling but from a monster perspective.
= Chapter 1: Devour =
Slimes were supposed to be stupid, but Xen knew he was a smart slime.
While his luminescent green brothers and sisters were murdered for exp by the two-legged creatures known to the dungeon as humans who wore strange clothes, he would strategically roll away deeper into the dungeon. Because that was the smart thing to do. And he was a Mind Slime, a rare variant of a classic dungeon slime that had acquired a level of intelligence, his greatest asset.
That single point in his intelligence stat allowed him to navigate the status screen and understand just how pathetically small his numbers were. Combined with the knowledge he inherited from the dungeon, he knew he was not a match for a single thing within these stone walls.
[Mind Slime: Rare Variant]
[Level 1]
However, as smart as Xen was, he was also starving. Unlike his brothers and sisters, he gained no nourishment from absorbing the luminescent moss growing in between the cracks in the stone walls, nor the blood that stained the floor, or the occasional discarded limb from a monster or man. No, the only thing he craved was knowledge, and the tasty thing called a brain that contained it.
As it turned out, being a level one slime made getting to anyone's brain a real challenge. Through his limited mana sight, he had observed many battles and concluded that without a doubt, he would lose to everything here. He had no legs to run away, arms to hold weapons, or even claws to rip apart flesh and fur. He was nothing but a slightly smarter jelly with a habit for rolling away.
And what had his superior intellect granted him? Nothing but hunger. His body had shrunk to a tenth of what it was in the past. With every roll, he expended energy and shrunk slightly. He tried to eat the moss like his brothers and sisters, but his body seemed incapable of absorbing anything from it, other than the knowledge of what it was.
[Dungeon Moss: Common Grade]
A type of moss that grows throughout dungeons. It’s filled with mana, providing a food source for the dungeon ecosystem’s bottom feeders.
This knowledge, however, did come with one use: expending more energy, he could mimic the Dungeon Moss, turning himself from a slightly purplish jelly to what appeared to be a ball of moss. It was this shapeshifting ability that had allowed him to survive this long in the dungeon despite lacking what the other monsters had at their disposal.
Xen—the name he had given himself—had also absorbed various pebbles and other inanimate objects he had come across, but his shapeshifter ability refused to let him turn into anything that was not alive. Why? Xen was not sure. He may be a smart slime, but many things were still beyond his comprehension, such as why some of the two-legged creatures had so much arrogance to challenge the dungeon alone. Strength in numbers was one of the most basic tactics that he had observed, which had allowed groups of very weak monsters to take down a single strong two-legged person.
Rolling around a corner of the dungeon, Xen once again heard the clashing of blades and shouts of the two-legged people, out of his mana sight range. Usually, he had the intelligence to roll in the opposite direction. But today was different. Rather than roll away, he chose to venture toward the fight. Although the area around battles was dangerous for such a weak slime, battles were also the source of corpses and potentially brains. And he would die from hunger by the end of the day.
So, armed with thinly veiled optimism, Xen rolled forth towards his potential demise. Any stray attack, or if one of the giant creatures engaged in battle, fell over, and hit him, he would perish instantly. Such was the fate for a weak slime.
"Jonathan, you fucking elf, hurry up and heal me," one of the two-legged creatures shouted.
"Sarah, you crazy bitch, can't you see my situation?" another retorted.
"That's a flesh wound," came a dismissive reply. “Heal Joe before yourself. Without him we are fucked.”
Xen had learned that those were the grunts of the two-legged creatures, and with some form of communication, he could not decipher what they were saying or the meaning behind the grunts. But he knew that whenever the grunts were said, it was usually followed by a coordinated attack. The grunts also had varying pitches.
"Basic sword slash," one of them suddenly shouted. This grunt was different from the usual—it carried mana filled intent; it was a skill.
Xen felt the stone floor a mere meter from his jelly body explode as a blade of red energy cleaved through the dungeon floor, showering the area with bits of rubble, followed by a high-pitched scream that Xen knew belonged to the dog-like creatures that were the apex predators on this floor. As a dungeon monster, Xen naturally knew that this was the first floor of the dungeon, and he was not allowed to go to the second or to leave. That was just common sense.
Despite narrowly avoiding death, Xen—the very smart slime—rolled forth in a desperate hope to come across what he sought the most: brains. If he could just taste the succulent meat that was a brain, he knew all his problems would be answered.
Creeping along the cracks in the side of the wall, Xen soon came in mana sight range of the battle and could get a good look. Standing injured before a group of black fur wolves was a slender, silver-haired, two-legged creature with pointy ears. In her hand was some sort of short metal weapon that she was using to fend off the two feral wolves that were snarling and trying to bite off her arm.
It seemed she was the only remaining member of her team able to stand and fight, as there were two people on the floor behind her. One, wearing white robes and holding a staff, was knelt over the second body, with blood dripping down from a savage gash across their face, which had taken out one of their eyes. The hands were trembling as a golden light enveloped the one lying motionless on the ground. "Please, Joe, wake up," the white-robed human begged.
Xen was a smart slime, apparently smarter than this dumb human, as he could tell that the man on the floor was most certainly dead as the dungeon was already trying to absorb the body. Which meant one thing: the dead human was going to be his target. Inching ever closer as the epic battle between pointy eared person and wolves raged on, Xen felt a flurry of emotions which should be impossible for a blob of jelly. Excitement, fear, hunger consumed his mind as he pressed forward.
Xen prayed with all his nonexistence heart that the silver-haired person would continue to fend off the monsters. Because if she lost while he was feasting on the corpse's brain, he too would perish in the jaws of these feral wolves.
Thankfully, the silver-haired woman was preoccupied, and the white-robed man was far too injured and distraught to notice the tiny Mind Slime crawl its way up the clothes of the human and sneak through the dead human's nostril.
[Human Mucus: Common Grade]
A sticky substance found inside the nose.
Ignoring the system prompt as he practically vibrated with excitement. Something upahead was calling to him as if it were the most delicious thing to ever exist.
[Human Brain: Common Grade]
An organ found in the human body responsible for critical thinking and memory storage.
[Use Devour on Human Brain?]
A system prompt Xen had never seen before filled him with joy. If he could lick his lips, he would. Naturally, he agreed to the system prompt without hesitation. This is what he had been yearning for his entire short life.
[Devour in process…]
Xen felt a million things flood his mind. Scenes of blue skies, lazy summer days, and meetings with friends at the pub clashed with feelings of despair, misery, and hunger. Stress over something called taxes, breakups with girlfriends, and other incompressible experiences that were completely different from his own flooded and drained his mind.
You have leveled up: 1 -> 2
You may pick a class… ERROR
User is not assimilated into the system.
User is a Dungeon Monster.
Searching for solutions…
Xen had no idea what was going on as a voice spoke in his head. Everything was a mess.
[Unlocked Shapeshifter Class (Unique)]
Those with the [Shapeshifter] class are able to replicate the appearance and abilities of beings they have devoured. Each form has it’s own level and set of abilities, however the user has a global level and selection of abilities that carry over to any form they take.
[Devour Complete]
You absorbed 50% of the human’s memories.
You have unlocked the [Human] form.
You acquired the following skills:
[Human Language (C)]
You and the target shared similar skills:
[Basic Mana Sight (F)] has been upgraded to [Mana Vision (D)]
Xen wasn't sure how, but he now understood the words. Everything about the system suddenly made sense to him. Was it because of gaining the [Shapeshifter] class? Or was he relying on the memories he had inherited from a now very dead human named Joe?
"Jonathan, are you done with healing Joe yet?" The elf Xen knew as Sarah from Joe's memories cried out as she swept her blade to keep the wolves away.
Xen could see everything happening around him due to his improved skill called [Mana Vision] and was able to understand the intent behind Sarah's words. She needed healing from this Jonathan person who was still kneeling over Joe's body.
Which was a problem. Xen was not Joe, and he doubted Sarah would let him live once she found out a slime had devoured her friend's mind. So, her getting healing in this situation was not ideal. I need more information. More skills and power. Xen thought, and he felt his vision drifting to Jonathan's bleeding head which contained another brain. If he consumed Jonathan's mind without Sarah noticing and eliminated the threat of healing, wouldn't his chance of survival increase?
[Do you wish to take on the Human form?]
Knowing his thoughts, the system offered a suggestion. One that Xen happily accepted.
=Chapter 2: Lifeless=
Upon accepting the system prompt and willing to take on a human form, Xen mentally knew he had two options. He could either consume his biomass to create a human body from scratch to his specifications or overtake a nearby vessel that matched the form he wanted to take.
Naturally, since Xen had almost no biomass to the point where he could sneak down someone's nostril and had a perfectly fine human corpse that he was currently inhabiting, he picked the latter option.
[Shapeshifting in process]
Xen felt his consciousness spread throughout the body. It wasn't instantaneous, almost as if he was a fluid flowing through the body's veins and slowly becoming aware of every muscle fiber and organ within the body.
All the while, Sarah was fighting for her life. She was barely managing to hold the wolves back. One of them lay heavily injured, bleeding out on the dungeon's stone floor, but there were still two mostly uninjured wolves that almost reached her shoulder height, taking turns trying to bite chunks out of her arm.
"Sarah, I…" Jonathan began, tears streaming down his face.
"What, Jonathan?" Sarah shouted, not taking her eyes off the wolves for a single second. "Now is not the time for your mumbling. Spit it out."
"I think Joe is dead," Jonathan croaked out.
[Shapeshift complete]
Joe's eyes shot open as Xen took complete control of the body. Despite the dim lighting, the sudden sensory overload was overwhelming. Until now, Xen had observed the world in a myriad of colors through the flows of mana in the air, almost like seeing everything as a blur, but now he could see everything in such fine detail. Such as the complete shock on Jonathan's face as they looked into each other's eyes.
"Dead?" Sarah screamed out as she wildly raised her sword and struck at one of the wolves, making it snarl in pain as she took out one of its ears. "How could Joe be dead? What have you been doing this entire time? You're a healer, goddamnit! His wounds weren't even that serious."
Jonathan's eyes widened. Sarah's voice clearly broke him out of his astonishment. He reeled around with his mouth open as if excited to tell her about Joe's miraculous recovery, but Xen had no interest in word of his revival getting out. Quickly reaching up, he grabbed the healer's throat, and with all the strength he could muster, he squeezed until he heard an audible snap.
Xen hardly felt anything as Jonathan took his last breath, and he watched the life leave his eyes. In fact, a distinct feeling of euphoria overtook him, accompanied by a system notification.
You have killed an opponent 4 levels above your own. Bonus experience awarded.
Experience split between [Mind Slime] and [Human] form.
[Mind Slime] has leveled up: 2 -> 3.
[Human] has leveled up: 1 -> 2.
The healer's body fell on top of him like a warm blanket. Xen was about to use Devour but refrained when he noticed Sarah getting a fortunate hit on the other wolf, causing it to collapse to the ground with blood spurting from a vein on its neck.
The silver-haired elf had multiple rather grave injuries covering her body; her breathing was ragged, and she looked ready to collapse any moment. Still, even in such a state, Xen believed that Sarah had the potential to defeat the single wolf remaining. Which was a problem. Jonathan had most definitely been alive a second ago, so she would probably wonder why the healer had suddenly passed away.
Should I pretend to be dead? Xen wondered.
"Basic sword slash," Sarah shouted with mana-filled intent, and Xen saw her chipped iron sword wreathed with red energy. She swung it wildly, and the final remaining wolf ate the attack in the face. Like a warm knife through butter, the sword had no problem cleaving through fur and bone, killing the wolf nearly instantly.
As the wolf fell, so did Sarah's sword, which clattered to the stone below. She followed by collapsing to her knees. "I did it," she muttered, "I really did it."
Through his Mana Vision, Xen saw an external force briefly wrap around Sarah's body, which he suspected was a level-up similar to the one he had just experienced. It didn't recover her wounds, but she did seem notably less tired a second later. While groaning, she sluggishly picked up her bloodied sword and got back to her feet.
"Jonathan, Joe, I won. We can escape now," she turned around, and her look of absolute relief turned to one of horror as she gazed upon the pile of bodies. Her hand began trembling. "Guys?" she questioned as she slowly walked over to the two bodies, one of which Xen was inhabiting.
Collapsing beside them, she began shaking Jonathan's shoulders, and as expected, he remained unresponsive. From Xen's fragmented, inherited memories, he knew that the two elves knew each other outside of the dungeon, while Joe had been a last-minute addition to the party.
It wasn't exactly clear to Xen how they were related, but he knew there was some sort of deeper connection between them.
Sarah put her trembling finger under Jonathan's nose. "No, no, no, no, you can't be dead. Why aren't you breathing?" she began panicking and rummaging through Jonathan's belongings and pockets. "A health potion, goddamnit! You must have been carrying a health potion. Where is it?"
Meanwhile, Xen was trying to stay completely still but was struggling under Jonathan's weight. He wasn't inhabiting the corpse as undead but rather as a living being, so Joe still needed to breathe, and his heart was still beating.
The silver-haired elf, whom Xen just wished would leave, began sobbing into Jonathan's clothes. "You idiot, why did you spend our savings on this fancy white robe rather than health potions?" she howled between cries.
An awkward minute or two passed before, eventually, Sarah gathered herself and wiped away her tears on her sleeve. Much to Xen's relief, she seemed about to leave, but then her eyes widened. "Joe, are you alive?"
No, don't look over here. Xen inwardly cursed.
She put two fingers on his neck and another below his nose. Xen tried to hold his breath for as long as he could, but the body he was inhabiting required oxygen, so after a dozen seconds or so, he took a sharp breath.
Knowing his cover was blown, Xen sleepily opened Joe's eyes and pretended he was barely alive. He hadn't expected Sarah to scream and stumble back while pointing at him.
Joe searched his fragmented, inherited memories and couldn't see why she would have such an adverse reaction to him opening his eyes. "Is something the matter?" he asked, surprised at how his voice sounded and how effortlessly human speech rolled off his tongue.
"Your eyes, Joe," Sarah exclaimed, "they're nothing but voids."
=Chapter 3: Conversation=
His eyes were voids? What did that even mean? Xen couldn't help but tilt Joe's head in confusion. "What do you mean my eyes are voids?" he asked the terrified woman.
"They have no pupils or irises," Sarah replied, her voice shaking. "They're just total blackness, like an animal's."
Xen blinked in confusion. Why would his eyes be voids? He should have copied everything the original vessel had. Was it because Joe lost his eyes to an injury or something? Since he had no idea, Xen decided to ask his system, and to his surprise, it responded:
[The eyes are the window to the soul, and the vessel's soul has long departed]
So, I have no eyes because the body I am inhabiting is dead, and the soul is no longer here? Xen concluded and realized he was in deep trouble. It was already hard enough for him to act human with fragmented memories, but now he even outwardly appeared different from Joe.
"Don't be alarmed, Sarah," Xen assured, raising his hands in surrender. "It must be a side effect of Jonathan's healing magic on me."
Sarah stared at him for a long minute, then eventually uttered, with her back pressed against the dungeon wall, "What are you?"
"What do you mean?" Xen replied. "I'm Joe."
"Your mouth isn't moving when you speak, yet words are coming out."
Xen froze; it hadn't felt intuitive for him to speak with a human body, so he had been doing it through his newly acquired Human Language skill, which apparently worked without moving his mouth.
Sarah raised her chipped sword and pointed the blade towards him. "I will ask one last time: what are you?"
"As I told you before, I am Joe," Xen insisted, this time trying to move the body's mouth to imitate human speech. "I was a last-minute addition to your party, remember? So there are not many ways to prove it, but I promise you, I am Joe. All of this is just a result of Jonathan's healing magic. A massive misunderstanding—"
There was an audible tear of muscle, and Xen felt his jaw begin to hang loosely from his face, followed by intense pain unlike anything he had ever experienced. He had made too exaggerated movements with his jaw while trying to imitate human speech and had somehow dislocated or damaged the ligaments.
"See," Xen said through the pain, "complications with healing magic."
Sarah didn't seem convinced as she never lowered her sword. "Okay, Joe, if that is even your real name, tell me what happened to Jonathan. He was alive a minute ago until you woke up."
Xen was hardly able to listen to Sarah as the pain of his ripped-off jaw was too intense, and there was a system message repeating in his head this whole time.
[Use biomass to repair body?]
Without pushing it off anymore, he accepted the prompt.
[Insufficient stored biomass. Converting biomass from the inhabited vessel]
A warm feeling ran up his left leg, followed by the rancid smell of dissolving flesh that tickled his nose. Glancing down in confusion, Xen saw his foot dissolving into his body. Moments later, he felt his jaw clamp back into place as the muscle fibers repaired.
"You monster wearing human skin!" Sarah screamed.
It would appear that the sight of him dissolving his foot to repair his face was the final straw, and his hope of convincing Sarah to trust him was long gone.
"You killed Jonathan, didn't you?" She hollered as she charged forward with her sword raised.
"No, wait," Xen exclaimed, raising his hands to meet the blade.
"Basic sword slash." Sarah used a skill that wreathed her chipped iron sword in that same red energy that had cleaved through the dungeon floor when Xen had been a lowly mind slime. Swinging her sword in an arc, it all happened so fast. Xen saw his raised hands go flying, followed by a shower of warm blood that hit his eyes and tongue, and then the world span as Joe's head tumbled to the floor.
Xen thought this might be the end of his short life, but to his surprise, he was alive.
[Human vessel has sustained fatal damage]
His slime body was still intact inside the rolling head. If she hadn't gone for the neck and had instead rammed her sword into Joe's skull, I would have perished.
Through Mana Vision, he was able to see Sarah panting heavily while standing over the now headless corpse of Joe and the other dead elf that he used to mistake for a human. But now, with Joe's memories, he knew there was a distinct difference between humans and elves despite their deceptively similar appearances.
Sarah spent a long while leaning against the dungeon walls while blood from many wounds trickled down her skin and dyed her clothes a scarlet red.
Even without any combat skills, Xen was convinced he could take her on in a fight right now, but instead, he waited. Clearly, she was convinced he was dead, as she made no move to ram her sword through the decapitated head he was inhabiting, and he had no intention of giving her a reason to try.
"To think we let a monster into our party," she eventually muttered as she stepped away from the wall. To Xen's surprise, she stayed clear of Joe's corpse as if it was tainted. She then began trying to drag Jonathan away, but her injuries and fatigue were too severe, to the point where even standing up by herself was too much.
Eventually giving up in a panting-filled rage, she fished through Jonathan's pockets and retrieved a badge which, from Joe's memories, Xen knew was a metal Hunter's badge. "Uncommon Hunter" and the distinct letter E were written on it, though Xen was unsure what the title or letter meant. However, it seemed well cared for by its polished surface, so it must have been important to Jonathan.
With the last of her strength, Sarah rested Jonathan up against the dungeon wall. She closed his eyelids with a sad expression, and then, while touching foreheads, she said calmly, "You wait right here. I will return with a team to retrieve you before the dungeon consumes you, so don't go anywhere."
Standing back up with a sigh and giving one last disgusted look at poor Joe, she left down the dungeon corridor, leaving behind the wolf corpses and the two men.
As a dungeon monster, Xen knew that it took a week for the dungeon to fully absorb a corpse, and there was no way he would leave this banquet for the dungeon. So, once an hour had passed and he was sure that Sarah was long gone, Xen tried to retake the human vessel that had been Joe.
[Vessel is too heavily damaged, and you have insufficient biomass to repair it. Would you like to Devour the body instead?]
Xen agreed with the system as there were multiple vessels nearby that he could inhabit instead, such as Jonathan the elf or one of the black wolves who were the apex predators of this floor. Furthermore, biomass seemed to be a vital resource for his shape-shifting skill.
[Devour in process…]
Xen felt the bone and skin around him begin to dissolve and enter his body, and with that, he began to expand. Within a minute, his slime body had gone from the size of a fingertip to that of a human skull. Even when he'd been birthed by the dungeon, he hadn't been this large, and for the first time in his life, he didn't feel an intense hunger but rather satisfaction.
Feeling happy with life, Xen rolled across the dungeon floor into Joe's lap and used the devour skill. Tendrils left his body and wrapped around Joe, slowly pulling the dead human into himself. There was a hissing noise followed by crackling as the body was broken down, but thankfully, Xen was in his slime form and, therefore, couldn't smell what he assumed would be a rather pungent stench.
[Devour Complete]
You gained 78 biomass.
Xen felt a little disappointed that he hadn't acquired any more memories or gained any skills or experience after devouring the corpse, but at least he had gained a solid amount of biomass that he could now use to repair injuries or even construct a vessel from scratch in his own image. With that meal complete, he now needed to decide: should he eat Jonathan or the wolves next?
Either way, he needed to be quick. This was the first floor of the dungeon, so Sarah could return within the hour if she was quick.
=Chapter 4: Status=
[Elven Brain: Uncommon Grade]
An organ found in the elven body responsible for critical thinking and memory storage. It also serves as the mana core used to fuel spells.
[Use Devour on Elven Brain?]
Xen had rolled his slime body over to Jonathan's corpse and threaded a tendril of his body to wrap around the brain. Without hesitation, he accepted the system's suggestion. He was never one to turn down a free meal.
[Devour in process…]
Information flooded his mind, much of it trivial, like memories of Jonathan walking through the countryside with his grandparents, but crucial tidbits of information were also present. Jonathan and Sarah knew each other as childhood sweethearts, and both had been born human.
Apparently, all two-legged people entering this beginner dungeon had been originally humans twenty years ago. The system apocalypse's arrival on this planet called Earth had brought many changes along with the monster-filled dungeons, such as awakening dormant bloodlines. A transformation that was often painful as mana flooded and altered their bodies.
Some humans became elves with elongated ears and extended lifespans, while others developed horns, fangs, claws, fur, and other features.
Xen searched the memories for more about Sarah and the strange metal badge. He learned that not only were Sarah and Jonathan childhood sweethearts but there was also a memory of Jonathan entering an office to meet Sarah's father, the leader of a major guild. The memory was fragmented due to turbulent emotions of rejection and regret, so it had been buried deep. Still, Xen learned that the metal badge was valuable for gaining access past guards of this guild.
You have leveled up: 3 -> 4
Xen was pulled from the memory by the system's voice.
[Devour Complete]
You absorbed 30% of the elf's memories.
You have unlocked the [Elf] form.
You acquired the following skills:
[Holy Smite (F)]
You and the target shared similar skills:
[Human Language (C)] has fused with [Elvish Language (C)] to form [Multilingual (B)]
[Do you wish to take on the Elf form?]
Xen noticed a pattern: absorbing a brain with Devour granted memories, a new species form, and skills. It was uncertain if this happened with every species, but he could test it with the wolf corpses in a moment. Naturally, he said yes to taking on the Elf form; he felt his presence spread throughout the Elven body as his slime body slowly dissolved into the corpse.
[Shapeshifting in process]
Even though his body was far too big to fit in the elf's head or stomach, he could shapeshift into the vessel without problems, which was good news because otherwise, he'd have to be careful about how much biomass he took on in the future.
It took far longer this time to take over the elf's body compared to when he had overtaken Joe, but once it was finally done, Jonathan's eyes snapped open, and the elf appeared alive once more. Immediately, Xen felt intense pain around his throat, as if someone was strangling him, likely due to the broken neck.
[Use biomass to repair body?]
Yes, use my biomass to repair all injuries, Alex thought. A moment later, he felt something leaving his slime body. A cooling wave went through Jonathan; the nasty gash that had taken out one of his eyes healed, as did his neck, which snapped back into place and felt better than ever.
[54 Biomass consumed]
Cracking his neck and flexing his fingers, Xen patted down the dust off the holy elf's white robes and stood up. He had to admit the experience of standing up on two legs felt very awkward compared to rolling around, but he was sure he would get used to it soon. Thinking back on the system messages, he had gained 2 new skills, well, not quite; one of them was an upgrade.
Looking left and right down the silent dungeon corridor, Xen confirmed no monsters were sneaking up on him. Closing his eyes, he murmured, "Status." A screen displaying golden letters appeared in his consciousness.
[Name: Xen]
[Level: 4 (F)]
[Race: Mind Slime (Rare Variant)]
[Current Form: Elf Male (Level 1)]
[Biomass: 25]
[Class: Shapeshifter (Unique)]
[Strength: 4 (+4)]
[Vitality: 4 (+2)]
[Agility: 4 (+5)]
[Resistance: 4 (+1)]
[Magic: 4 (+10)]
Mind Slime: Level 4 (F)
+1 Strength, +1 Vitality, +1 Agility, +1 Resistance, +1 Magic per level
< [Devour (S)] - [Appraisal (C)] - [Mana Vision (D)] >
Human: Level 2 (F)
+5 Strength, +2 Vitality, +3 Agility, +2 Resistance, +6 Magic per level
< [Multilingual (B)] >
Elf: Level: 1 (F)
+4 Strength, +2 Vitality, +5 Agility, +1 Resistance, +10 Magic per level
< [Multilingual (B)] - [Holy Smite (F)] >
Free Skill Slots:
- [Devour (S)]
- [Multilingual (B)]
- [Appraisal (C)]
- [Mana Vision (D)]
- [Shapeshift (E)]
- EMPTY
- EMPTY
To say that Xen almost recoiled in shock would be an understatement. He had been able to access this screen while being a level one mind slime, but it had only displayed around three lines of text, the meaning of which he hadn't been able to decipher. Now, the list was so extensive he didn't know where to start. Despite time being critical, he felt understanding his status would provide the most significant advantage, so he quickly scanned the list from the top.
The name section was straightforward. His level was four, matching the recent system notification after devouring Jonathan's brain. Intriguingly, there was an 'F' next to his level, written in the same font as the 'E' on the polished metal badge that had been in Jonathan's possession. Xen recalled the system mentioning bonus experience for defeating someone a few levels higher. Curious, he inquired the system about the meaning of the 'F' rank and was relieved it had the answer.
[Grades: SSS (200+), SS (150), S (100), A (80), B (50), C (25), D (10), E (5), F (0)]
Letters and numbers? How do they correlate? Xen mused and quickly managed to deduce their meanings. Being level four with an 'F' grade indicated that upon reaching level five, he should advance to an 'E' grade. This logic also implied that Sarah and Jonathan were within the level range of five to ten as they had been E grade Hunters.
Next on the list was his race, listed as 'Mind Slime (Rare Variant).' Hovering over this mentally brought up more information:
[Mind Slime: Rare Variant]
A rare variant of a Slime capable of devouring knowledge and shapeshifting into other beings. They often perish soon after birth or starve despite their intelligence.
Xen found the description somewhat demeaning but was more intrigued by another piece of information given to him by the system. As a dungeon mob, he knew monsters could evolve; it was a fact made clear to him from the start: if he defeated enough intruders, he would have the option to evolve within the dungeon and move down to the lower floors. What he didn't know was at what levels these evolutions occurred.
[Evolutions at levels: 10, 50, 100, 150, 200…]
Being only a level four Mind Slime yet already considered a rare variant, Xen was excited about his potential future evolutions. Then, a thought struck him: if he could shapeshift, shouldn't his other forms also be capable of evolving?
=Chapter 5: Spark=
[Evolutions for the different forms are available at the same level milestones. However, the evolution options will be basic but can be improved if Devour has been used on variants of that species]
As it turned out, the system had the answer for Xen. His other forms, such as Human and Elf, could indeed evolve at levels 10, 50, 100, 150, 200. With his human form being his highest level form at level 2, there were still 8 levels for him to go before he would be able to evolve one of his other forms. The system's mention of devouring of a variant was also important to keep in mind, as if he could get a rare variation in one of the earlier evolutions, it would help him further down the line when levels became harder and harder to acquire.
Putting that to the back of his mind, he moved on to the next part of his status screen.
[Current Form: Elf Male (Level 1)]
It simply detailed what his current form was, its level, and since he had taken over the body of Jonathan, he was indeed a level 1 Elven male. Concentrating on this section of his status screen highlighted a lower section:
Elf: Level: 1 (F)
+4 Strength, +2 Vitality, +5 Agility, +1 Resistance, +10 Magic per level
< [Multilingual (B)] - [Holy Smite (F)] >
When Xen had first unlocked his status screen, he had made a note of the fact that he only got +1 in each stat per level, so even if he could level up, he would still be far weaker than anything else on this floor, apart from his fellow slimes. In fact, just to match a level one elf, he would probably have needed to reach level 10 as a Mind Slime, judging by these stats shown.
The ability to shape shift and use the stats from other forms will definitely be my greatest edge over opponents, as the +1 I get in every stat because I'm a Mind Slime wearing a skinsuit will hardly make much of a difference past these very early levels, Xen mused to himself as his eyes drifted down to where his stats were laid out.
[Strength: 4 (+4)]
Sure enough, there was a +4 next to his strength in brackets, which showed the 4 stats he got for being level 4 as a slime were being combined with the 4 stats he got for taking on the Elf form for a total of 8.
“So why do I feel so much weaker than before?” Xen muttered as he flexed his arm. Squinting at his status screen, he soon discovered the answer with some quick arithmetic.
Human: Level 2 (F)
+5 Strength, +2 Vitality, +3 Agility, +2 Resistance, +6 Magic per level
"My human form is level 2 and gives 5 in strength for each level, so when I was inhabiting Joe’s body, I was actually up 10 strength compared to the measly 4 that I have while overtaking Jonathan's Elf body. No wonder I feel weaker; I'm down a whole six stats in strength."
This made Xen realize that he would need to make sure all of his forms had similar levels, as otherwise, one form would overshadow the others, and then he would lose his versatility, which was his greatest asset.
Xen’s eyes drifted over to the black fur wolves that lay dead on the cold stone floor of the dungeon. He had witnessed these killing machines ripping humans' limbs off as if they were made of sticks, but he had also seen humans punch them in the face, killing them instantly. One’s species and race played a significant role in determining the winner, but arguably for everyone, levels were the true king.
With that out of the way and on the topic of leveling up, now came the skills. His new B-grade Multilingual skill had come from fusing two C-grade language skills [Human Language (C)] and [Elvish Language (C)]. “I suppose I should test this one out,” Xen cleared his throat with an awkward cough and then began talking to the wall, quickly finding himself capable of switching between the human and elvish languages without issue, as if he had been born capable of speaking both fluently.
Arguably, other than Devour, which was an S-grade skill that had served him greatly thus far, this new multilingual skill was his greatest asset. He knew from his memories and own experiences that speech was a useful tool for forming coordinated groups and getting out of situations, such as the one he just had with Sarah. If he practiced and got better at convincing those on the surface that he was not a monster, he might be able to infiltrate their ranks and maybe even venture into other dungeons in search of more monstrous forms, but that would have to wait for now. Before he ate the wolves, he just wanted to quickly test his new holy smite skill that he got from devouring Jonathan.
[Holy Smite (F)]
You can conjure and fire a divine spark that scales with the skills grade your level. It has increased damage to evil aligned monsters and has a chance to stun the target.
“This should be rather powerful, since whenever I saw elves in a hunting party with humans, they usually took on the magic-based roles, which makes sense since they get 10 magic per level.” Xen raised his finger at the stone wall of the dungeon's corridor and, by gathering mana from his brain into his mouth, he said clearly, “Holy Smite.”
Golden lightning crackled between his fingers, and at a slight flick, the golden lightning sprung from his finger in what could be considered a glorified spark that lit up the corridor briefly and left a scorched mark on the stone. It was far showier than powerful but considering that a few moments ago he had been nothing but a slime, scarily approaching a battle, and now he was a blonde-haired elf hurling lightning, he was able to overlook the skill's pathetic firepower and marvel in its novelty. At least it had a chance to stun.
"If only I had some more magic power, maybe it would be even more impressive," Xen grumbled, but then had an idea. "Humans are quite similar to Elves, right? Couldn't I consume some biomass to turn into a human, which would then grant me plus 12 magical power, as that form is level 2?"
[You have insufficient biomass to take on the Human form]
"Not enough?" Xen knew he had 25 biomass, which should be enough to make his ears a little pointy, as externally he couldn't see much difference between humans and elves. "They're so similar, how could I not have enough? How much do I need?"
[120 Biomass is required to take on the Elf form]
"For what? Why?" Xen demanded, and the system provided an explanation.
[Humans and elves may appear similar, but they are genetically different in almost every way, which results in the elves having their mana core concentrated in their brains rather than their hearts like humans. They also have far longer lifespans and more prominent facial features.]
Xen had to admit he didn’t really notice the difference between the two-legged species' facial features, as it all kind of looked the same to him, much like these dungeon walls. They all looked similar from a distance, but since he had been hugging the cracks of these walls for most of his life, he knew without a doubt they were all unique.
“Bah, whatever, that steep cost is putting me off the idea,” Xen waved away the system prompts and turned his attention to the wolves. The only other thing in his status screen that he hadn't gone over were the free skill slots, but considering two of them were still empty, he would deal with that once he had finished eating these guys and retreating deeper into the dungeon.
Approaching the largest of the three wolves, which had been the one that stood the longest against Sarah, he couldn't help but feel bad for the poor thing; it was cut into two pieces, with its organs spilling out onto the floor in a puddle of blood. The thing had been brutally sliced in half, though it had deserved it, and he could hardly blame Sarah; this was a dungeon, a place of life and death. There was no mercy here, only the strong prevailed.
Finding an intact piece of its brain turned out to be too much of a task, so instead, his left arm split up into dozens of purple-tinted tendrils, and then Xen used Devour.
[Devour in process…]
It took a good few minutes before everything had been consumed on the system kicked into action.
[Devour Complete]
You gained 84 biomass.
You absorbed 15% of the Black fur wolf’s memories.
You have unlocked the [Wolf] form.
You acquired the following skills:
[Savage Bite (F)]
[Do you wish to take on the Wolf form?]
-
-
And that is the end of the 7k words! Feedback appreciated :)
Comments
XKARNATION
Thank you! Regarding the free skill slots, I was thinking of him getting a new one with every form he unlocks.
Nuurik
I liked it very much. I'm really looking forward to the continuation. Considering that you write, and you write consistently several times a week, and most importantly with high quality, I’m ready to buy an additional subscription. If we talk about the works, I didn’t like 1 thing: Zen is not an isekai person, okay, he’s smart, but it seemed to me that he is an isekai person, because he thinks of things that one wouldn’t think of based on instincts. in my opinion, it would be better if he were less “smart” and more curious... at least at the beginning, because he is a newborn creature, he has no experience of a past life, and besides, I did not notice that he absorbed other more or less intelligent creatures before absorption Jonathan. In general, I want to say that his behavior is too reasonable, reasonable in the sense of the behavior of an adult “wise” person (and a question from me, of course you don't have to answer) Only 7 Free skill slots? does this mean he will also have paid skill slots or is this number forever? if he can combine and create stronger abilities then everything is fine, but if it is a fixed number it does not seem like a lot to me, although it could be interesting, getting out of all situations with only 7 abilities. anyway, I like it, looking forward to the continuation
Dalton
I like it. If read more
Paddy
Yes yes yes more !
XKARNATION
❤️
Victor Mijares
Not so bad overall. It reminds me of "everybody loves large chests" but a slime instead of a mimic
Cakelyn
I love it so much already! Really looking forward to how Xen will leave the dungeon and blend in to society. Please write more 🙏 ❤️
Sleepking10
I like it a lot honestly great concept now i just want to how big the world is and how he navigates it
Scion
I personally prefer the system I think it makes the world more interesting
Neil
Maybe I’m an exception but I think game systems make a story weaker. I think it’s a bandaid on the world building. I think a more fleshed out in universe reason for power makes a story stronger. For example imagine if ashlock instinctively knew that he had “sacrificial credits” (renamed to something else) and he could tap into some heavenly void that pulled out something random knowledge or item instead of just being a game screen.
Jonathan Willis
Thanks for the chapter. Pretty cool. Love a good shapeshifting story. Ambivalent about a system apocalypse setting, but everything else seems up my alley.
XKARNATION
Yeah was one of my inspirations
ciopo
reminds me of "Everybody loves large chests"
XKARNATION
:D
Beeees!
I want more lol. Plzzz
Reader-13
Please continue with story! I think it would be good if Xen didn’t gain power super fast though because a slower power up would make sense for a non tree MC. Very cool concept and I already want more chapters
Jordan joyce
I'd read this
Me
I'd say there is quite a bit of potential in there. The most difficult part about doing this well is probably gonna be to portray Xen's reasoning especially in interactions with humans and the human world. You would need to essentially assume the role of an alien that tries to interact with humans. And i would absolutly go down that route as this might be the most interesting part. I'm a bit concerned about the memory absorbtion part of this concept. This gives an easy path to just magic an understanding of the human world into xen. I think this should be resisted. The memory absorbtion part of his ability should be used very sparingly so as to make understanding human interactions, culture, technology etc the result of xen's effort to understand and not just an ability he got for free. I think it's imperative to think about a goal for xen beyond just "survive". The logical progression for xen would be to grow stronger and then ultimatly defy the dungeon and go out into the outside world where he would interact with humans. But i'm not quite sure how he could progress from there. Also, for a story of this type usually you'd want to get the protag some companions. The only logical companions i could see for xen, at least in the forseeable future would be other intelligent monsters, probably from the lower floors. Finally, setting this up in our real world brings one extremly important and difficult problem. You would need to think about how the changes brought upon by the arrival of this system affected the human world. How much chaos ensued? How did governments react? How did the industry react? What did scientific investigation reveal, what scientific theories have been developed? Were there attempts to fuse technology with magic? Where there changes other than the appearance of dungeons? How did people react to their neighbors suddenly undergoing transformations? There would almost certainly be strong racial prejedices against any "awakened" human. If you need some reference material for a worldbuilding tat has a very similiar concept "magic returns to the modern world" i'd recomennd taking a look at the worldbuilding of the shadowrun Pen & paper roleplaying game. Actually it could be very interesting to set this in a darker, more postapokalyptic world.
ike
I love that it's in earth. It's not done from a monsters pov often and could turn out pretty good with interesting plot. I also like the mc actually being a monster. I don't like the system describing the world too much id rather the slime experience and learn the world. It feels like being told a spoiler almost especially with the void eyes, imo. it's what's your going from the looks of it though and it's certainly no deal breaker. The power creep seems like a very real possibility with a op skill like devour. I mean it's chapter 5 he's got basically mana sight mulinguistic and the ability to not die unless headshot with multiple bodies he can use. That said it's not that I dislike the abilities one of the reasons I love reborn as a demonic tree was for this reason. All that said I would definitely read more chapters and honestly I think that youll pull a fun and cohesive plot together so good luck. I'm all for a new story.
XKARNATION
Great feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed it. 😁
XKARNATION
I can see how that would be unsettling.
Koza0
Hm so far this draft has alot of potential, a key points in my mind is 1) Presentation of Xen’s reasoning, especially Xen’s own thoughts being presented to us like “bah, whatever that steep cost is putting me off the idea” is a very strange jump in language usage and feels a bit clunky given our understanding of Xen so far, even if he gained knowledge, perhaps keep it a bit simple in the beginning and then we can see his language slowly evolve also if anything on the topic the biomass of Elf Form with his lack of power before he consumed the brain the idea or knowledge of steep cost on elf form should perhaps motivate him as he now has a concrete goal “consume enough biomass to use my abilities to their fullest and gain power” rather then just drop the power or idea initially, it’s a not a very survivalist mentality in the moment, to disregard it at the time instead of even having a side thought of “not now but I need to consume more in the future” as he needs every trick he can get since he never had anything helping directly with his survivability except hiding. The other point is that when he talks about holy smite, perhaps a memory of him thinking about elves doing magic in parties would be better then him just speaking about it (there always in magic roles ect. , like “Xen thought about his very few previous observations of elves, he had seen them [describes some attack spell or magic ability] before in groups of others.” Or perhaps tying into the hoard tactics of slimes to help tie in his new knowledge and comphrension with his own experiences that he couldn’t rationalize before. (Of course the elves are in the back, their physically weaker, but can help the others). (Also some people are saying change the name of his ability , I myself don’t see a reason but if you did change it, ‘Consume’ would be a good alternative in mind from ‘Devour’) l’ll be re-reading to see if I can find anything else that might help. The story has potential, I know I said it before but it truly does have the potential to be a great story. I wish you goodluck in your endeavors. TYFTD.
Vanessa S.
I am in the camp of not loving it. I can't quite put a finger on it, but part of it has to due with my discomfort with the MC. I am not fond of doppelgangers & body snatchers. There is another story on RR that I liked quite a bit until the enemies were revealed as body snatchers. An MC that isn't human and can be cruel? I can get behind that if done well. Having an enemy that steals peoples bodies, and kills their victim's loved ones with the victim's own hands? I've never liked those. Probably why I don't like horror either. Maybe tag this one as horror if you go that route?
XKARNATION
Yeah, explanations are hard to pass across to the reader since the MC is also kinda clueless and left in the dark if that makes sense.
XKARNATION
Any examples of rough language you could show me so I know what you are referring to? I might have missed some spots but the chapters should flow well
FreidFaust
I like it! I enjoy the concept of a monster or monstrous mc.
EsZeus
Overall, a great Idea and I liked the story. But, it was a little bit clunky. Explanations where not fluid and not smooth, and I had to double read sentences and paragraphs because I was not sure what's happening now with the shapeshifting and why, and how. So, if it's being a little bit more polished, I would love to read this story a lot :)
XKARNATION
Thanks!
XKARNATION
yeah I can see the levels for each form being an issue but can't think of a better way to handle it.
XKARNATION
I need Sarah to escape for plot reasons... need someone who witnessed his void eyes and knows what happened to bring tension etc. I could rework the scene so it feels less bad that Xen didn't jump at the opportunity to kill her.
XKARNATION
Was going to be a little in the future, like 2040 or something. The world-building is based on the Korean system apocs, where there are dungeon portals on Earth, but the Earth itself is mostly unaffected except for when one of these portals isn't cleared enough and overflows into the real world.
XKARNATION
Although I like writing monster MCs, they are hard for readers to sort of self-insert into. Instead, the reading experience is more of a backseat type of deal where you watch the monster do crazy things but don't wish you were the monster. In this novel, I tried to show early that Xen is coming from a place and mind of a pure monster, but through absorbing human memories, he becomes a bit more self-insertable. I might have missed the mark a bit, though.
Sr. Silla
I like the general direction. The initial chapters were rough on pacing/language, but the concept was interesting enough for me to get through to the end. The number of directions that you could take this are insane.
egulio
I do quite like stories from a non human pov that isn't just reincarnation/isekai. Sadly a lot of them just go the murderhobo route and that's not really good imo. This has great potential, I like the system and the idea so far but it's too early for me really tell which branch this is going towards. Also great thing that Xen isn't some omniscient protagonist that doesn't do mistakes :) *obviously*
Ahmed Elashwah
I enjoy your style as usual. My main concern is that (eat to gain their skills) trope can get absurdly powerful and boring quickly. Tl;dr : I like it, evolving various forms looks interesting. Avoid making our mc too overpowered and flesh out his brain-oriented personality. The shapeshifter is limited to using abilities in certain forms and that’s good, but not enough. He can gain universal skills so maybe those should be limited to only slime skills. Next, If he gains 3 powerful and versatile forms (dragon durability, archlich for offense and army raising then space mage for escapes) he will just be unstoppable and boring. Another nerf is needed, make him only use a certain percentage of the stats of the originals (a percentage that increases as he consumes more of the species and never exceeds say 90% after a thousand kills for example?) You’re the creative one, so you will probably have more ideas xD. Just keep his power in check to avoid power creep. Also I know this is just a draft and I would love reading more about Xen’s early emotions and thought process as a brain-hungry, frustrated pathetic slime. Other small points: He knows too much, like he knows he wants brains and he knows they contain knowledge. Where did he learn that from? Did the system tell him or was it instinct? Cause it sounded like he couldn’t understand a thing from the system before eating the human brain. If so then the first system messages should be placed in squares or some nonsense characters to reflect his inability to understand the system messages at first. Also why would a monster know what a name is? Should probably acquire the knowledge of names after eating the human and seeing an empty (nameless) slot in his stat screen. Or maybe have some early contemplation about his existence and thus choosing a name. The aspect of leveling and evolving his other forms is a very nice gimmick with great potential and should keep the story interesting for a longer time. Just watch out for the power creep. Good luck!
William C
Interesting concept, I am wondering which way you are eventually going to take the slime, ie, amoral kill everything and let strength sort it out, amoral that adopts a persona to survive outside the dungeon, or adopts some sort of code to hide better, etc. I like Monster MC stories but to someone that didn't I might drop this if the MC wasn't given some goal or dream to aspire to other that kill and grow stronger. I think it would be interesting to see the slime being forced to knowingly or unknowingly start taking on parts of the personalities of the people he eats, as a person is often colored by their memories and perspective. That might even be a point of contention later as it will have to start debating whether to eat something or not. I don't think separate levels per form will work out well because it will result in either time skips where it grinds levels in forms or in lopsided form usage because of level and neglect of them if the forms are not given purpose. Also, I might change the name of the devour skill as it is close to the Tree's skill.
Ethan Barrow
I like it! The skill pathing appeals to me as does the main character. I was honestly a bit sad Xen didn't realize to kill Sarah while their guard was down but that's more than reasonable to not happen as Xen is still a big noob at combat and life currently. If this does become a series I'd be happy to read it!
XKARNATION
He can use whatever skills he has in the free skill slots regardless of what form he is taking.
Kennyevilmonkey
Could make for an interesting story. Our protagonist has the potential to either be a villain or a hero. Has a lot of room for growth. The fact that the story takes place on Earth could both be good and bad. Is it present day? Why isn't the military going in and gunning everything down? Are monsters only in the dungeons, or are they on the surface as well? Why is there a skill called Human Language and Eleven Language? What happened to English and all the other languages over just 20 years for them to replaced? Or did these skills just magically replace all of our old languages. and if that is the case, why do the Elves -who have only been around for 20 years- need to have a separate language?
TjStorm
I was feeling really excited when I read the synopsis (RoyalRoad). I really enjoy the monster leads, especially stories like ELLC. But I think I can understand why some of your friends might be a bit put off. You have a nearly freshly born dungeon mimic. Yes, it might be slightly smarter than other slimes, but that should be like saying a five year old is smarter than the classroom hamster. It listens to it’s instincts, which most monster would do. But it can overcome those instincts when they are killing the monster. The sign of its intelligence. But as soon it devours a mind, that intelligence shouldn’t change much. Its gotten a flood of brand new information, it should take time to digest that information and learn how to use it. That five year old child may have the intelligence to one day become a noble laureate, but if you give that child a book of quantum physics, it shouldn’t be able to immediately have a chat with Stephen Hawking as a peer. There is a difference to having information versus having knowledge. Even with system assistance, I don’t think that level of assimilation would be realistic. You’ve also said, I think, that as a mind slime, it was born with a +1 in intelligence, yet I didn’t see a intelligence stat, just to nitpick. I also didn’t like how the slime could reason and use terms like stat and strategies for levelling up with what should be 30 at the outside. I would suggest reading Everyone Loves Large Chests, as the author done a really good job of the transition between a dumb mimic to a highly experienced adventurer and monster. I hope you do continue this story, for all my nay saying. I enjoy the monster stories, and I do like intelligent monsters. But those monster should have a tougher time leveraging that intelligence, rather than get a cheat of, the system made me do it.
AA
Sounds interesting, would definitely follow if you provided more chapters. Lots of litter errors in this that will need to be tidied up
Azvalon
Damn, now I desire and want more of this story as well. I do really hope that you actually continue writing this story instead of just leaving it as an abandoned draft.
XKARNATION
Good feedback! Thanks I’ll take these thoughts into account
IdolTrust
That is a cool concept. So the story is really good start, i wonder if the MC could eat the other slime species to get variant abilities. A great cover story is that he killed a rare monster that granted him the ability to consume monsters to gain their abilities but at a cost that he loses control of his body for a short period of time to remember how to use his reformed body. He is basically a chimera when they try to scan him. That could be a reasonable answer.
Scion
A lot of my friends don't like monster lead stories but I have a feeling since you have a tree center story you wouldn't have that problem since you're audience already likes monster MC's I do think this is interesting and I like it but it feels unpolished and needs a bit more work
Demian Buckle
Looks to me very interesting. I love Monsterous MC and I love shapeshifting as a power.
GryphonKnight
MONSTER MC HELPFUL One of the reasons Demonic Tree works as a hidden monster series is the human support characters From the very beginning, humans help Ash and Ash helps humans similar to _Blue Core_ The problem with the Shapeshifter chapters is the monsters, and the humans, are both Shapeshifter enemies MONSTER MC MONSTROUS _Everybody Loves Large Chests_ was incredibly well written but a lot of readers were upset at the shapeshifter MC betrayal of the female elf ( betraying human allies ) and the Demon slaves abandoning the shapeshifter MC ( betraying monster allies ) because the series seemed for a long time to be one thing ( monster smut then different monsters trying to fit into human society ) only to suddenly change ( monsters only trying to fit into their own monster societies and abandoning allied humans and allied monsters ) SHAPESHIFTER ALLY If Xen saved Jonathan and Sarah, by becoming a talking wolf then the humans might have a stake in protecting the shapeshifter MIND SLIME Not really seeing how a Mind Slime is better than a ( Mimic / Doppelgänger / Soul / Demonic ) shapeshifter MC Demonic Tree is cool because cannot move, larger physical body, larger core and has network of children What unique disadvantages, and advantage, does a Mind Slime shapeshifter have? 🔲
Alex Tempest
I would be willing to read it. I like non-human lead stories.
Chrystal 1776
I love the concept. Xen is an interesting character and I've already got questions about how his abilities work and how that'll impact his ability to leave the dungeon and integrate with society. Like right now can he only take the forms of people he's killed/seen? That'll make things very difficult trying to leave the dungeon especially if he gets unlucky and the people outside have a method to keep track of who goes in and comes out. Can he use abilities from his other forms in his current one? Or is he locked out till he chooses to swap? What will happen if/when people in power figure out what he is? I'm sure these questions are just the tip of the iceberg for where this story could go. So TLDR I am hooked tbh and I want to see more if you choose to continue.
Gavin Lawrenson
I like it a lot! Consider me interested in seeing where this goes!
Shin
This here feels more like a lite version of rimuru from tensura Guess the slime trope has been done a bit too often so i cant stop making comparisons
Shin
The synopsis reminds me of boxxy from "everybody loves big chests" the best Mimic story i have ever read on royal road
XKARNATION
Yeah good point. Might tweak his backstory or personality more
XKARNATION
Yeah I went with shorter chapters because I was writing for fun. Turns out my writing style isn’t content dense enough for shorter chapters so I would likely add them together to form 3 chapters as you said
Tsukyo
It's great
Diego Rossi
The idea is interesting, the chapters too, but there is a feeling of lack. They feel like a draft, waithing to be filled up. For 5 chapters the total text is short, it seems appropriate for 2-3 chapters.
Alexey Gladkich
It has potential and the worldbuilding thus far is interesting but it is difficult to give proper feedback. Xen is in a bit of too blank state as a person and the story lacks sufficient interaction between people. I generally advise to show defining characteristics of the main characters early but it is not always possible with some plots.
Azvalon
I only read half of the synopsis and I already love it x3
zakaka
i like this concept, i’m in
Jay00
I like it kind of reminds, of( I reincarnated as a slimes) but a completely different story anyways enjoyed very much. Would be cool to give his slime race a op bloodline!
MelasD
Xen is so based
Greg S
I like it
