maria ilmutus
patreon
june 2025 update: illness, thanks & the fundraiser!
🕑 Added 2025-06-30 00:00:53 +0000 UTChi folks, just making a big post to let everyone know how things are going. first of all, i got very sick earlier this month and it was awful. it pretty much crippled me and recovery took way longer than i would've liked. even now, i'm afraid it might not be fully healed... but we'll see. getting medical attention can be quite difficult living in this city, the public hospital's being renovated and getting an appointment is a huge ordeal, other places are understaffed and overworked. basically, i had to pay a bunch of money and run around like a headless chicken for a week... while suffering from a pretty nasty infection. not fun!
and yeah, that means progress on youtube stuff has been slow. the mecha video's taking shape in my mind, and i'm hoping it'll be both fun to write and to watch. i'll probably experiment with style and tone again, since i like to evolve a lot with each project (it's probably my biggest strength). right now i have a lot of assorted takes on gundam, super robot media and the discourse surrounding neon genesis evangelion. that last bit might act as the "conclusion" (thematically and timeline-wise) but we'll see. i guess this video's like a spiritual successor to the cutie honey video in some ways, addressing certain grievances i have with that project. lately i've been brushing up on yoshiyuki tomino's other work, mainly space runaway ideon, which has been incredibly insightful and rewarding.
(work in progress thumbnail for the next video. lol.)
alright...
despite the adversity and really annoying stuff i (and probably many of you) have faced, i wanna say that: i'm glad you're here. i'm glad we can communicate in these small ways and that we remain connected somehow. i'm incredibly thankful for the continued support, for the monthly pledges, donations, etc. i do legitimately rely on this stuff to survive. i'm someone who (unfortunately) lives by the skin of her teeth, it's really fucking scary but i'm glad i can count on you. what started as yet another one of my ridiculous side-projects became something that has re-contextualized my life. i'm starting to get the "how the hell did i get here?" feeling, and it's incredibly disorienting... but yeah! i may be some hyper-obscure internet freak but... uh... well, i dunno, i guess i am just that hahaha. but i'm a nice freak, i promise.
that being said, i know things are hard... especially in the US. i know how scary and nightmarish it's gotten. i feel it here too. i mean my country is in the hands of a right-wing libertarian maniac. it's a never ending circus. i know how demoralizing that shit can be. i know we're all barely surviving out here. things are fundamentally broken and i'm really sorry.
now, onto the good news! me and my friends have decided to move forward with the fundraiser! (reminder: this is the fundraiser to fix my heating, gas and hot water). it's going to take the form of a livestream, hosted through the action button goblin bunker twitch channel. some of you may remember the goblin bunker from last year's "GBPA" net show, which i created a segment for. well, the kind folks over at the action button discord server have decided to help me with my immediate living situation. but this ain't your typical fundraiser! no, this will be part of the "goblin bunker TV" project. a 24-hour livestream consisting of all sorts of cool stuff (movies, YTPs, etc). the CURRENT and HIGHLY TENTATIVE date for the show is JULY 12th. but we still haven't finished the official flier or even announced the thing so... hold on to your butts. the goal is around $5,000USD to cover everything my family will need.
anyways, it's currently like -2ΒΊ celsius (28ΒΊ farenheit) and i cannot wait to have my heating back. once we have the money (here's hoping we'll actually meet the goal ;w; hahaha), me and my family will get in contact with the gas company and a few guys to set everything up. we'll need to re-do the pipes, probably replace the heaters, stove, etc. yes it will be a hassle, but god i've been living in such shit conditions for almost two years now AAAHHH!!! okay, sorry about that...
i just wanna get back to work and possibly find a part time job or something. i want to live comfortably. i'm so tired y'all lol...
...anyways, take care! π€
