Apinsig
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🕑 Added 2024-01-05 15:23:16 +0000 UTC----
I have been working on this for a while and I have some key moments I already know and want to write about, but that will happen later and not in book one. The world itself I think is fun and large. The problem is that book one is missing an antagonist or a strong hardship for the MC. I just haven't had a good idea and hope you could help. So please ask any questions you might have. PS This is something I have worked on as a hobby for about two months.
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Chapter 1 John Windfox and the Forgotten School of Magic
It was a cold autumn night. It wouldn't be long before the temperature reached the freezing point. In an unremarkable alley in a large but often overlooked city, a man was holding his stomach while trying to move as fast as possible.
He didn't get far before he stumbled and could only catch himself on a large dumpster. His breathing was ragged; he was sweating so much that his hair was completely wet, and most of his clothes looked damp.
He looked backward with fear, but when he didn't see anything, he tried to move again. Yet this time, he slipped and fell to the ground. He tried to get up one more time but managed only to get into a sitting position.
Shaking now, the man started to speak in a loud tone a language only a few ever master, and only a small portion of the population could even study. It didn't take long for light to start appearing between his hands.
If one were to look closer, you could see wisps of light coming off his ring and moving to the center of the palm, surrounded by two hands. At first, the light was dim, and it constantly flickered. Yet slowly, it grew and started to morph into a more complex shape with multiple rings that appeared to have writing on them.
"No, that won't do," the voice that spoke was not kind and even the most inept in social situations could hear the mocking in those words.
The spell almost flickered out when the man on the ground lost concentration. Now his words came in a rush trying to finish the spell as fast as possible.
"If you continue like that, you’re going to rob me of the opportunity to kill you. Why would you be so cruel?" The man on the ground looked towards the voice to see a person emerge from the darkness.
Then there was a crisp snap that should have been impossible to be produced by human fingers. The second person to come out of the darkness was the one who snapped, and with that sound, the spell the man on the ground had been working on fizzled out.
"Stop playing; we have places to be." There was no cruelty in that voice, only cold indifference, which to some was even worse. The owner of the cruel voice made a stick appear in his hand, and once again, the language only a few could master was used.
From the end of the stick, a sudden flash of blue light was seen, which flew at an incredible speed towards the man on the ground. When the spell hit, the man was pushed back against the dumpster with so much force that even the dumpster was pushed back.
This spell didn’t kill instantly, but the massive trauma caused the man to have a heart attack, and the broken ribs punctured his lungs in multiple locations. The man with the cruel voice crouched down and looked the dying man in the eye, but he didn't say anything more and just watched.
Then the man searched for something in his bags, and when he finally pulled out a phone-sized device, he stepped closer and placed it onto the dying man.
The dying man knew what kind of device it was and just hoped he would die before it activated. The two other men started to cast a similar spell to the one the dying man was trying to cast. Their spells didn’t flicker and were powerful from the beginning, and only about 10 seconds later, there were two pops that left the dying man alone.
He died just before the device activated; a huge surge of magical energy was released, consuming the body completely and leaving no trace that it had ever been there.
Unknown to all three people, inside that dumpster was a young 6-year-old boy who had made this dumpster his home. He had collected a lot of garbage that helped insulate from the cold, as this was going to be his first winter on the street. Yet, it was still better than the foster home he was put into.
The noise of the man leaning against the dumpster had woken him up, and he had been deadly afraid throughout the entire encounter. When the device activated, the magical surge knocked the young boy out.
Unknown to the boy, the magical energy that surged out of the device activated a part of the boy that would also give him the ability to use magical energy. He woke up not long after, feeling better than he should.
Slowly, he pushed the dumpster open, yet he didn’t find any body, which made him even more scared. He stayed like that for a little while, as he didn’t know what to do. This dumpster seemed perfect as no one was using it, and the street gangs didn't come this way often.
But he was too scared to stay here, so he packed up his most valuable possessions into a stained and worn backpack, and then climbed out of the dumpster. This action seemed to remind the boy’s stomach it hadn’t been fed for a while.
‘How could I even think about eating in a situation like this?’ the boy thought. It was at this moment that the hurried footsteps of multiple people started to be heard by the boy. Immediately, he started to move further into the alley, but he was careful not to make any noise.
There was shouting, "This should be the location; we must find him," was the voice that cut through all the others. The boy was now quite panicked, as nothing good could come from him being found there.
It was at this moment that he knocked over a few empty bottles while looking backward. "Shit," the boy said when all the noise from behind him stopped. Immediately, he started to run, and almost immediately, he could hear people behind him start running as well.
The boy, however, already knew that he couldn't escape. He would need to climb a fence, and the doors in this alley were always locked. Yet, then he saw something strange. He was certain that he remembered a red door there, but now the door was green in color, although it was quite faded.
What was even more important, it was open a little bit. Not questioning things further, he immediately rushed towards it and prayed to every god he had ever heard of. The door opened quickly and without any problems. He was able to close it behind him and even lock it.
He was thoroughly exhausted as he had pushed his small body to the limit. Then he realized if those persons were similar to the ones before, a simple door wasn't going to be able to do anything. So he waited, hoping they would not come through the door.
But unknown to him, the alley where he used to be had a red locked door that was blown open, yet no trace of the boy could be found. The boy, however, still waited and eventually fell asleep while leaning against the door.
When the boy started to awaken, the first thing he noticed was that he wasn’t cold. That made him forget what had previously happened, but that moment of genuine comfort was broken a few moments later when the events of the night came back to him.
Once again, the young boy could hear his rapid heartbeat that quickly picked up. Yet, when he tried to look around, all he could see was darkness.
‘Did I really escape them?’ the boy thought. When he pressed his ear against the door, he couldn't hear anyone in the alley, yet he also couldn't hear the noises of the busy streets or any other noise that a city should make.
All he could hear was the wind, but otherwise, there was just silence. At this moment, a loud noise disrupted his listening. It scared him, but it was just his own stomach making noise, letting him know how hungry he actually was.
Gathering his courage, the young boy with shaking hands started to touch the door, blindly looking for the lock that he remembered closing. When he finally found it and tried to turn it, it didn't move. But when he turned it the other way, it locked the door, confusing him.
Fortunately, he was able to unlock it once again, but he was certain he had locked it. Now even more hesitant, yet knowing he needed to get out of there before someone came, he pulled the door handle down and then pulled it towards him, slowly opening the door.
The door, to his surprise, didn't make any noise. He had expected it to, as he could feel the peeling paint when he was searching for the lock, so he had expected this old door to make some noise. For a moment, he was confused.
He didn't feel the cold that was supposed to be coming from outside, so when the door was opened enough to peek through, he was utterly shocked. There wasn't an alley; instead, another room, where the only light source was coming from the windows.
He was frozen like that for a little while before he closed the door. 'Did I get turned around?' he thought. The boy was once again in darkness, so he opened the door a little bit so he could see, and there was another door in this small corridor-like room.
'Had I sleepwalked, or was I more tired than I had expected and just lost track of what I had done before I fell asleep?' Those were the questions running through the boy’s mind.
Now, he moved toward the other door. Yet, when he tried to unlock this one, to his surprise, it was open as well. He really didn't know what to think, yet when he opened this door, he could feel the cold air coming in. At least now he knew this was the right door, but when he opened it more, for a second, he didn't hear any noise he expected to hear, only wind and the sound of waves.
The boy had only heard smaller waves made by small boats traversing a river. Yet these waves sounded powerful and made the boy shiver even more than the cold air could account for.
What once again froze the boy's mind was the snow that was quite thick and the fact that he seemed to be near the sea. He slammed the door closed and locked it. 'No, no, no, this can't be real,' yet no matter how long he sat with his back against the door, beyond which was something impossible. The reality didn’t seem to change.
What broke the silence once again was his stomach making even more noise. He then looked up towards the other door that was still cracked open, letting in a little bit of light into this small room. The boy's heart had calmed down after sitting still for so long, so he gathered his courage, got up, and finally opened the door fully to the larger room with windows that let in the sun's light.
It was a room that felt lonely. It wasn’t a large room, but it wasn’t small either. To the left side was a wall that had two windows showing a snowy landscape. Everything was mostly made out of wood that seemed worn yet well cared for.
Wanting to get an even better look, the young boy stepped inside the room and quickly backed into the small corridor-like room when a new light source illuminated the larger room.
After calming down once again, the boy walked into the larger room and looked up to see an intricate light fixture that he imagined only rich people would have. At first, he believed that the room was lit by eight torches.
Yet, on a closer look, it was clear that they only mimicked a living flame; otherwise, it still worked on electricity. At least that was the belief the young boy held. From the doorway to the right, there was another wall with a window.
Otherwise, the room was quite empty, except for a school-type lockers and some sort of desk that was really high, probably meant for people to stand while working behind it.
Behind the tall desk were written letters, similar to a shop that displayed its name in large, colorful letters. The young boy didn't know how to read properly, but he slowly started to sound out the letters and words he knew.
The first word was a long one and too complex, but what was underneath, however, was easier to understand. "S... s... sc... school... o... of... m... mag... magic?" The boy slowly read out.
The reason he knew those words was because of the older children from his foster home. They often spoke of school, many hoping that in the future they could get into a school that was far away from that foster home. Magic was often spoken of, as almost all wished they could have it and would be able to escape that place.
The young boy didn't want to wait and escaped on his own. When he went, he had been was quite certain he would die on the street. Now, however, he didn’t know what to believe as nothing was making sense.
Multiple times he looked between the words on the wall and towards the window to the world outside, full of snow that shouldn't be possible in the city he was currently supposed to be in. It was supposed to still be another month before snow could start to fall.
He tried to look at what was on the table, but he was too short. There was another door that led out of this room, but this door was locked, and he couldn't unlock it like with the other doors.
Panic started to set in as he knew he couldn’t survive long outside in the snow and there didn't seem to be anyone here. Just before he started to yell out, hoping that at least someone was here, a sudden thump sounded out.
The noise made the young boy freeze. Nothing else happened; eventually, the boy slumped to the ground, thoroughly exhausted by the whole situation. For a moment, he wished that the people had caught him before he went through the door.
As soon as he got that idea, he shook his head, knowing that even if this situation might be scary, it was most likely better than having to deal with adults who were already angry.
The noise came from near the tall table, so he walked until he saw the front of it to see a step stool that hadn't been there before, which he could use to see what was on the table.
"What?" was all that he said as his brain was having a hard time understanding what was happening. Once again, he looked towards the words and what was written with the big letters. "Magic? There's no way, right? It can't."
No matter how scared and confused, it was clear that the only way to proceed forward was to climb those steps and see what was on the table. His legs shook a little bit, and he had to support himself with his hands so he wouldn't fall from the step stool.
There were only three steps, but the higher he got, the more scared he was. Regular people are already scary, and magical ones seemed even scarier. The boy just wanted to live his life.
When he finally was able to look at the table, there was a small, thumb-sized object on the right side, with a large piece of old-looking paper that had many words on it in the center of the table. On the top of the paper, written in the biggest letters, was a long word, but he could only understand that it started with the letter 'C.' When the boy touched the piece of paper, he froze; he felt some sort of connection between it and himself.
He was about to pull his hand away, yet before he could, he realized that he could now understand everything written on it, and the first long word was 'contract.' Underneath, in smaller text, was a brief description that this was a magical contract between him and a school.
Totally confused, he continued to read. For the first time in his life, he read without problems and finally understood why he could understand: apparently, magical contracts would be completely understandable to anyone who was making a deal using one.
The more he read, the more excited, worried, and hopeful he became. What he was reading was a magical contract to become a student at this magic school, Whisperglades School of Magic.
The school was offering not only to teach him magic but also to provide a mundane education. The most important thing to the boy, however, was that he could live there and have all his needs met, as long as he kept studying and wouldn’t be thrown out for being a lazy student.
There were, however, really worrying things. For one, he would be the only student, and there were no teachers. Somehow the school had a form of consciousness and would be teaching him. The problem was that it couldn’t directly speak with him, although he didn't understand why not.
Another problem was that apparently the school and he were on a remote island that had been forgotten by both the mundane and magical worlds.
To the boy, this still seemed the best way for him to survive. He would need to give the magical contract his name, which was a problem because, to his knowledge, he didn’t have a proper name, and the name he had in his foster home he never wanted to hear again.
There was a moment of brilliance as the boy realized he could make up his own name. "John Windfox," he said out loud, but the contract stopped writing his name after it had written down John and Wi.
There was a pull on the link between the boy and the contract, which made the boy wince as it did hurt a little bit. Confused and worried, he was about to say the name he hated when the contract wrote the name John Windfox in large and fancy letters that John could normally never read.
Now came the scariest part. John pressed his thumb onto the small, thumb-sized object and felt the tiny prick. He pulled his thumb off it to see a small drop of blood.
John took a few moments before breathing in deeply and quickly pressing his thumb into the correct position on the contract. The next moment, the contract rolled itself up and disappeared, yet John could feel it inside him, and he knew that the other copy was held by the school itself.
He was now a student of a magical school, yet he was still having a hard time actually believing it. The small, thumb-sized object disappeared before his very eyes. A moment later, a ring, a card, and a towel appeared on the table.
John was quite curious about the towel, but he knew that he needed to put the ring on. He took a moment to observe the ring. The ring itself was silver with an intricate symbol of three hearts connected by the bottoms and three leaves in-between the hearts. What was strange was that the leaves were colored red and the hearts green. The ring itself was meant to be worn on the left index finger.
When he finally put the ring on, he felt it connect in a way similar to the magical contact he had experienced. It was a strange feeling, knowing that it must be his magic allowing him to connect and sense what was happening.
It was something he knew thanks to the magic contract and the only reason he was even here. When John opened his eyes, he had finally finished the last ritual the magic contract required him to do to be fully accepted as a student.
Two quite loud clicks sounded out and scared John. He quickly rushed towards the door that led to the small corridor room, but it was now locked. Before panicking, John quickly ran and tested the other door, which now opened, leading further into the schoolhouse.
Before going further, he climbed the step stool once again and picked up the card. He had expected a paper card with his name on it, but it was a plastic one that looked quite similar to the older kids' school cards; it even had a black strip on the back.
In the upper left corner of the card was a symbol similar to the one on the ring. There was also the name of the school, then his name, and a little bit more information about him. For some reason, there was even a birth month and year given for him, but did the school make up that number because even he didn’t know that?
There also seemed to be a student number. ‘What a weird magic school to have something so modern,’ John thought. Then all of a sudden, the card changed and now displayed a small map, which John assumed was of the school.
The image displayed was quite simple, except for a yellow line and a green dot. John looked around a little bit, and after stepping off the step stool, the green dot moved as well. Even to him, it was obvious what this meant, yet he was still a little bit hesitant to follow the yellow line. It seems that his hesitation was noticed because where the yellow line stopped, there was now displayed a symbol of a washroom.
John had long ago gotten used to being dirty, but now he looked down to see his filthy clothes that probably smelled awful to anyone else but him, as he had gotten used to the smell. He walked to the door and opened it to see a long corridor that was lit with torch-like lights, but they also mimicked real fire like the light on the first room. John knew there was another word for these kinds of lights, but he simply couldn't remember it.
To the left of him, the corridor stretched for quite a while until ending in a staircase. To the right, the corridor only extended for a little while before a big window showed the outside world and let in natural light.
The yellow line showed that his destination was the door on the other side of the corridor, a little bit to the right. As John started to walk, he noticed how old the wood looked. What was weird to John was that there were radiators on the walls, old-looking ones, but still, he could feel the heat from them.
John was incredibly confused. Wasn’t this supposed to be a magical school? Why were there so many normal things? Where were the floating candles? "Hello, is there anyone here?" John asked out loud.
He knew that there shouldn’t be, but just in case, he asked; only silence answered him. When he continued to walk the short distance to get to the washroom, only his movement made noise, which was quite scary for a young boy.
The door opened easily, and even in this room, there was a similar-looking light fixture to the entrance room where he signed the contract. To his left were two bathroom stalls. To his right were two lockers and a table.
John, however, was fixated on the large bathtub that occupied a large portion of the room. In fact, John would call this a small swimming pool. There were also two shower stalls. John now understood why he needed the towel; the image on the card had also changed, now showing a small animation of him putting the clothes he was wearing into some sort of a chute.
John looked around a little and found the metal cover for the chute next to the lockers. He was a bit hesitant because while his clothes were dirty, they were meant for cold weather. This realization made John happy.
For the first time, he truly realized that he probably would not feel the cold as long as he was a student at this school. A small tear started to fall down his cheek. He quickly tried to hide it, but then also realized he didn’t have to - there weren’t any older children who would mock him for crying or worse.
John broke down and started to cry for real. Soon, he was curled up on the nice warm floor. John didn’t know how long he was like that, but eventually, the shower turned on, scaring him, but only for a moment.
He was incredibly tired after everything that had happened, but he still took off all his clothes and let them fall down the chute. Next, he went to the shower where warm water started to wash off the dirt and tears. As the minutes passed, John started to feel better, so he finally began to wash himself with the soap and shampoo that had been provided for him.
When John started to dry himself off, he wondered what he would wear, and then he heard a swish and a small click coming from one of the lockers. Opening it up, he saw a hanger with sweatpants, a hoodie, a T-shirt, socks, and even underwear.
On the bottom of the locker were simple slippers. The clothes smelled fresh, and John couldn’t remember if he had ever smelled the smell of fresh clothing before. He decided that he liked the smell.
It took him a little while to dress himself. Yet, even before he was finished, his stomach growled once again. To his surprise, his student card could also make noise, but the small beep it made allowed him to notice that the picture had changed once again.
There was a new yellow line this time, ending in a new room with a symbol of a dinner plate and a knife and fork. While before he had dressed himself slowly, now he rushed to get everything on and started to run out of the washroom.
The student card beeped three times in quick succession, displaying a person running and then a large red X over it. John understood and slowed down, but he still hurried as much as possible.
The corridor was quite long, and before he reached the door on the right side that he needed to go through, there was another door on the left side of the corridor, and he could see one more on the left side before the staircase. He stopped to see what was written on the door.
It took him a little while to sound the words out, but they spelled Classroom A. Deciding to walk past the door he needed to go through, he read what was written on the other door on the left side of the corridor: Classroom B.
The word on the door that he needed to go through was too complex, yet he still opened it to find a room where there were a lot of tables and benches. John looked towards the left after he entered to see a lot of windows on the wall, and in front of him, past the tables and benches, was also a large wall with a lot of windows.
To the right, however, was something different, something he hadn't seen before. The yellow line on the card guided him closer to it, showing him the kitchen and the steaming plate of food that was on the counter.
A similar-looking step stool allowed him to climb up to get the food that was on a tray with a glass of milk. There wasn’t much food, and John couldn’t help but speak out loud, "Why so little?" He jumped a little when immediately after he spoke, the card beeped again, this time showing a small animation of a really skinny child eating too much and then puking.
John looked down at his own stomach to see that it was really skinny, and so were his arms. He hadn't even noticed because he hadn't taken his clothes off for a few months. He picked up the tray, but it was quite heavy.
He almost stumbled off the step stool but fortunately managed to stay upright. The journey back to the tables was also quite hard, but he managed. He then started to eat, and with his first bite, let out a soft moan of pleasure, as he had not eaten something so good for a really long time.
The food itself was quite simple: some vegetables, gravy with potatoes, and a little bit of meat. When the plate was empty, John wanted more, but slowly he was starting to trust the school as it had given him so much. Just being warm, having food, and being clean meant a lot to John. When he finally finished drinking the milk, he started to look around to figure out what to do with the dirty plates.
The card beeped once again and a new yellow line appeared, guiding him to an empty metal shelf. John was a bit puzzled, but then figured out that the tray fit beautifully into the empty slots. When he placed it in, a new yellow line appeared, this time leading out of the room. John followed it to see that it was now guiding him to climb the stairs.
The stairs also looked old and were made out of wood. When he was halfway up the stairs and on the middle landing, he was able to look out of the window that was higher up. But once again, he saw the sea not too far away from the schoolhouse.
He remembered that he saw the sea from the front door as well. This troubled John, but he was quite tired, so he turned around and climbed to the second floor. This time, there were two yellow lines, both pointing to different doors.
What was different about these doors was that there was a black square on one side of them. The card showed him that he needed to place the card on that black square and then the door would open.
John did that to the closest door to him and was able to open the door to see a decently sized room that had an incredibly soft-looking bed. Immediately, John rushed to the bed, and as soon as he got under the blanket and his head hit the pillow, he was asleep.
Comments
RedLeaf
Interesting start. Looks like the bones of a good story are here, but it'll take more knowledge about the wider world to know for sure.
Zarik0
Hmm very interesting beginning with so much potential, and this story can really go both way depending how it goes ) For Antagonist, well at first thought i can only see something like in some years when he start recontact to the wider world and go out of school territory, we get some past history of antagonist to the school and the people of it coming to him when he start to impact some little things (like old people of the school were attracted or were on a field trip and they get killed or etc) but the school with his defense and etc survived well or was hidden A ennemy school? or a old wizard who had a bad/competitive relationship with the creator of the school or etc (artifact into it, or knowledge (space move?)) so greed or etc and so taken a swing at them in the past, or a demon or mystical entity, or a magical catastrophe or ritual into the world who goes wrong Depend... and after if you make him having to survive/hide vs them when he recontact and go more into the world untill his station in the wider world get enought high or etc (or he make alliance with other old school) or rebuild the school with people like him Honestly can't know or have good idea without a bit of the worldbuilding and how the wider world is
Gilhe
That or do the whole mystery school detective thing with the school helping/hindering you.
Gilhe
Good start! Not a lot to work on for an antagonist so far. Only thing I can think of is a ghost/poltergheist of teacher/student past. It was a school in the past, so it should be able to remeber 'normal' schools. Aka bullies
Gavin Lawrenson
A good start so far, thanks for the chapter! If I'd rate it compared to your other series, I'd say it is not quite as strong of a first chapter as Homesteading but definitely stronger than the first chapter of the Dungeon. I can't wait to see where this goes from here!
Apinsig
Homesteading is actually about 100-150 chapters until it's done but I will not seriously start writing this until it's finished.
Thundermike00
You sure your not going to burn yourself out or take time away from your other two books? Your other two books are still not even in the middle of it's journey. still loads of stuff to write about on your other books.
Bladehawk256
Oh new book? Damn dude you on fire! I'll read it later and give you some thoughts but generally it's hard to give feedback on early parts of novels. If it's anything close to your other 2 novels I'll be happy that's for sure.
