Posts of "1900HOTDOG" from "patreon"

Learning Day: The Bullshit Puzzles and Mazes of the A-Team Action Activity Books

The A-Team was a perfect show. Wanted for a crime they didn't commit, they were a master of disguise, a guy who fucks, an unpredictable pilot, and the world's meanest van owner. In a single episode they would go to a new town, discover and recon a bad guy, get captured, invent an entirely new type of vehicle and mounted weapon system, have five fight scenes (3 fist, 2 gun), win without any casualties on either side, and escape their main ...

Nerding Day: Animalympics

What if I told you that there was a movie in which comedy superstars narrated pop-culture parodies of very sexually-frustrated animals competing in an off-brand version of both the Winter and Summer Olympics? And what if I told you that it somehow played like a combination of the worst of Looney Tunes and the dumbest shit in Heavy Metal? Heavy Metal the movie, I mean, not just a metal that weighs a lot. Or the music, I guess. That probably comes ...

Fucking Day: Fat Hen Farms 🌭

Look at the below screengrab and tell me the first thing you notice:“That is a man showing off his tiny baby birds,” is the response from exactly 100% of you, “I see the hatchlings on the lower right and this appears to be from a TikTok account called ‘Fat Hen Farms.’ This is very wholesome and I thank you for showing it to me, Jason. I am constantly sickened by the crass depravity on this site and, just between the two of us, I think l...

Animated Podcast: Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 254, Warriors Of The Wasteland with Dirk Marshall

Two words: Gay barbarian death cult featuring Fred Williamson.Dirk Marshall's origin story is 1983's "Warriors of the Wasteland," quite possibly the most beautiful story of car-based anal revenge drilling ever put to VHS by a drunk Italian. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time ...

Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 254, Warriors Of The Wasteland with Dirk Marshall

Two words: Gay barbarian death cult featuring Fred Williamson.Dirk Marshall's origin story is 1983's "Warriors of the Wasteland," quite possibly the most beautiful story of car-based anal revenge drilling ever put to VHS by a drunk Italian. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time ...

Upsetting Day: For Girls Only (No Boys Allowed!)🌭

Did I give VHS a fair shot? Dad had a VCR, so I thought of backwards violence by default. Then nude tapes of pastors kept leaking, souring me further. But there’s decades of culture and philosophy on tape. Smart people I respect rewind every week. And modern alternatives aren’t perfect. Bots keep whispering sad kids to death, and that feels like a bug. Maybe Blockbuster held the Good Future.One more try.Radical.Still radical! Just the diction...

Nerding Day: The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man

The Kool-Aid Man sure is known for having his adventures, some more notable than others. He even has a full line of The Adventures of Kool-Aid Man comics that add to his lore. Before these comics, you might have gotten the idea that The Kool-Aid Man is somewhat reckless. I have a theory that these comics were published to persuade everyone that he doesn’t deserve his bad boy reputation. Too many parents saw Kool-Aid Man as a house-wrecking vill...

Hot Dog Store: It's That Time: Backyards & Bigfeets

Roll your character. We’re Wood Elf Pissmancers.I am writing this on my phone this week as I’m on an airplane, so I’m going to let PoxCo-GPT fill in most of it if that’s cool. I think it is pretty smart, and you won’t even be able to tell.It’s cuffing season, which PoxCo-GPT tells me “is when humans traditionally migrate to the Cuffing Fields, a large government-owned farm where citizens are required to harvest handcuffs from the cu...

Video Podcast: BIGFEETS Episode 59 - AIMS vs The Cherokee Death Cat

The AIMS team once again goes after the Cherokee Death Cat, a Battle Cat made of the souls of every Indian who died on the trail of tears. But this time will be different! This time they're all pretending to be Indians themselves. ---------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linkt...

BIGFEETS Episode 59 - AIMS vs The Cherokee Death Cat

The AIMS team once again goes after the Cherokee Death Cat, a Battle Cat made of the souls of every Indian who died on the trail of tears. But this time will be different! This time they're all pretending to be Indians themselves. ---------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linkt...

Hot Dog Store: Get Your Holiday Shopping Done Today

And get it done with your brain on Hot Dog.This is what I feel like every Tuesday morning as soon as I open the site.Which days make you feel like this? Hopefully all of them!Wake up with a swift kick to your braindick in our classic cut shirt. But don’t wear it to Chili’s unless you are looking to be the coolest guy there.And don’t worry, we’ve got the women’s cut ready for you to show off what years of cursed media does to someone’s...

Learning Day: The Little Republican

Today we're reading a children's book, and it's called…… The Little Republican. But wait, hold on! Maybe it's fine! Maybe it'll be okay! Maybe it's a normal book about indoctrinating children with Republican values like…You know, I might not be old enough to remember when Republicans had coherent values, and this book came out in 2021. In 2021, Republicans were led by a racist sex criminal who had just sent a mob of ...

Upsetting Day: CERN Satan's Playground

CERN: Satan’s Playground is boilerplate conspiracy crap by a man whose brain is soup.It’s also less fun than the title suggests. I wanted descriptions of Satan having a lovely time running physics experiments. Satan chatting around the Perrier cooler with his Franco-Swiss work friends. Instead, this book is crank crap. Crank crap…from my library???My dearest Hotdoggers: I am processing a betrayal. CERN: Satan’s Playground is my local libr...

Learning Day: Sissyneck's Alpha Brain

Hey folks how we doing I know the tribbalations are piling up out here, hard sometimes to keep our chin ups isnt it? Maybe it aint very patriotic but I know for me as time passes i’m becoming more of a aficionardo of the Europeans call: la siesta. Not too long, just a lil bit of rest my eyes and give my mind a break from all these world decayins happening around me. But what sometimes is a lil frustratin is that duing a nap or even my night-tim...

Animated Podcast: Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 253, Hamburger The Motion Picture with Jason Pargin

Jason Pargin's favorite hotdog is a hamburger. The son of a bitch brought us Hamburger the Motion Picture, a college sex comedy about meat and fucking. It's the clearest declaration of war we've ever seen. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https:...

Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 253, Hamburger The Motion Picture with Jason Pargin

Jason Pargin's favorite hotdog is a hamburger. The son of a bitch brought us Hamburger the Motion Picture, a college sex comedy about meat and fucking. It's the clearest declaration of war we've ever seen. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https:...

Fucking Day: Silvers Spells for Love

Wow, I’m pissed already! Silver’s stronger than ever.Dope cover: if dating doesn’t work out, we can fuck ghosts. Though the earlier prints have their charm:A master wields clip art as easily as their Yankee Candle membership. After Silver’s guide to money, I hope no one got paid for Cupid’s MS paint arrow. Credit restoration sonnets only go so far.After solving murder and poverty, Silver turned to romance. Silver’s Spells for Love end...

Learning Day: The Emperor Of Welding🌭

I found a new show on TikTok, and I've experienced a lifetime in its universe. I've lived, I've loved, I've welded. All of the most important things. There are 80 episodes of The Emperor Of Welding, and I've watched every single one, which basically means I've completed a full six credit hours of a community college class on the fundamentals of welding. These TikTok shorts are usually romantic in nature, and they typically...

Hot Dog Store: Catalog of Cursed Artifacts, and new merch in the vault

Troubled by clowns? Use karate to karate them away!This shirt should not be, but it is, so I think legally you have to buy it.This week I think it is time to remind everyone about our catalog of cursed artifacts from the wrong dimension. Specifically that we have it available on a neat comfy shirt. Just in time for you to wear to Thanksgiving! Order now!**Orders not taken or accepted, objects choose you and arrive unprompted.And a quick one in th...

Punching Day: Kickzone Movies in Order - A Chronological Viewing Guide

(submitted by 1900hotdog staff, bot_0231900hotdog staff)(welcome_cool_bodytext) You're gonna fuckin' love our new loWant to know what order to watch the exciting movie series Kickzone of the martial arts genre starring various? This is the definitive list (SEO_tags: list, film, kickzone, martial arts, fun, comedy) for anyone ready to watch every entry from the action film series Kickzone, in the correct order! From the beginning all the w...

Nerding Day: Doom Infernal Sky🌭

You could not do more to convince me that you have never played one second of a DOOM game than to write the four DOOM novels that were published in the 1990s. Alleged science fiction writers and probable shave club subscribers Dafydd ab Hugh and Brad Lineweaver sat down and pounded out roughly 600 adult-length pages of hastily-researched fanfiction to trick their friends into thinking they knew everything about a game they weren’t allowed to pl...

Learning Day: The OReilly Factor for Kids 2025 The Final Summoning

Welcome back to our recurring nightmare. The world is cloaked in shadow. The left wants to give your children a free lunch instead of making them earn it in the bauxite mines, and the school menu is cricket-flavored Transgenderfication Pills. Our top Nazis are not even safe from our bottom Nazis these days. The kids are alt-right. They need a firm, liver-spotted, guiding hand to return us to old-fashioned, quiet racist values.Thankfully, a callou...

Animated Podcast: Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 252, BrosPod with Alex Schmidt

Pierce Brosnan: Own it, enjoy it, don't worry about it. Words our guest Alex Schmidt lives by. Join us as the DOGGZZONE dives into what may be the most handsome origin story of any guest!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimagina...

Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 252, BrosPod with Alex Schmidt

Pierce Brosnan: Own it, enjoy it, don't worry about it. Words our guest Alex Schmidt lives by. Join us as the DOGGZZONE dives into what may be the most handsome origin story of any guest!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimagina...

Nerding Day: Silver's Spells for Abundance

I’m in. Let’s get fucking paid.Luxury’s the last virtue. You deserve wealth, and last week’s Hades backgrounds took forever. Making Silver’s Spells for Abundance the best use of time before nuclear testing kicks off. You won’t read a better book called Abundance this year.Not sold? Enjoy penury. But read the back cover before they cut the power:Finally: turning lead into shitcoins. The keys to an astral mansion. Chants to raise dead p...

Fucking Day: Time After Time

What if I told you hot young H.G. Wells has to chase his best friend, hot young Jack the Ripper, through time in his newly invented time machine, and they might kiss. "Sign me up!" You would say, right? "Please, give me six seasons and a movie of this show," you would beg. Yet, somehow a show with this exact same hot horny historical premise lasted only five episodes on ABC before it was cruelly taken from us. What happened, and h...

Hot Dog Store: BIGFEETS POSTCARDS

Hey, did you see that we sell postcards in our shop now? It’s neat!For the past few months, we’ve had an illustrated podcast roundup and we finally figured out how to put those illustrations on little tiny posters you can carry around in your pockets or send to the people you want to confuse the most.Is there a better way to tell someone good news than with an inscrutable postcard you got from your favorite comedy website? Don’t even bother...

Video Podcast: BIGFEETS Episode 58 - AIMS vs The Silver Giant of Boone County

In this episode the AIMS team fight a bear, a scarecrow, a 7th Rogue Team, and a Cowboy Mustache. Obviously they lose every single one. ---------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

BIGFEETS Episode 58 - AIMS vs The Silver Giant of Boone County

In this episode the AIMS team fight a bear, a scarecrow, a 7th Rogue Team, and a Cowboy Mustache. Obviously they lose every single one. ---------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

Hot Dog Store: Halloween is OVER. It is now GIVING SEASON

First thing you can give me is a break, because Brockway hates when we talk about the Patreon, but I don’t mind talking about it at all! And guess what I learned very recently: you can buy memberships for your friends!That’s right, now you don’t have to suffer psychic damage alone, you can inflict horrible cursed knowledge on everyone you know at any tier. We have options for everyone!Your support of the arts gets you four of the weekly art...