372 Pages We ll Never Get Back posts
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Super Constitution meme contest!
Time to post your best Super Constitution memes! Post a link to the images in the comments, then like your favorites to vote for them. We'll pick our favorite as well as a Jackal's Choice and send them a fabulous prize: one of these Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. souvenirs that we obtained at the Mall of America!Let's see some creativity! None of the following formats will be eligible for winning because they are old and boring: Drake pointing...
Super Constitution BONUS MAILBAG
Get yer mail read hereHere's the list to the Ranker page Taylor made.
#128 - Super Constitution Ep 3 - Miss O'Hara's Smiling Body
We're deep into Super Constitution now and this is our chance to see how the sausage is made (HINT: it requires a killing ray).Another big question is answered as Miss O'Hara makes a visual appearance and... spoiler alert, she's hot. We're talking Pepperidge Farm-guy hot!Also, Mike's Real or Fanfic score takes an adjustment, despite having a new theme song sent in by a listener.NEXT ASSIGNMENT: Read Articles 13 through 16, inc...
New Episode Coming 9/16 - It's Bananas
Believe me when I tell you that this is the most coherent paragraph I could find.We're in for a wild ride.
372 Pages Goes to The Mall of America Bubba Gump Shrimp Company
Well, here it is. Our journey to Bubba Gump, documented and presented for your enjoyment. Thanks to Lauren for her camerawork, and to all of you for your support. Please send us to a better restaurant next time!Conor is away for a wedding so Super C ep 3 will be next week. He hopes that whatever shirt he wears to the wedding won't have the same tag issues as the one in this video.
Patreon Bonus: YouTube Comment Game! (Better Name Needed)
It's all explained and then wrung dry in this bonus extra!
#127 - Super Constitution Ep 2 - LONG MONOLOGUES!!
Well, after a rough start we’re back on track. Super Constitution was a little strange out of the gate but now it’s nothing more than a classic sci-fi nov-- haha, I can’t finish that sentence. It is of course a baffling, shocking, hilarious stew of words that somehow manages to get weirder as it goes along!You simply must read along.AND you simply must hear Mike’s Real or Fanfic results…Reading Assignment: Read through Article 12
Uh... Everything OK Ron?
A listener tipped us off to the book "Heil Hibbler" by beloved early stage 372 co-author Ron Goulart. Turns out this one somehow got printings in several different languages and each iteration tried to one up the previous cover's batshittery. Hopefully nothing in here about how Hitler had some good plas-ideas.New Super C ep tomorrow!
Live Show Video
Unbeknownst to us, Jackal Mike was filming our Bryant Lake Bowl live show last month. Which makes us super glad we didn't go with the "all nude revue" type of show we were STRONGLY considering until the very last minute.We combined the video with the soundboard audio, if you'd like to watch this while we head to Nashville for our RiffTrax Live show. (On thursday!! Go see it!! You can cheer when the 372 slide comes up and see if yo...
Anthony, Sergeant O'Leary and Mike - Bonus Podcast!
No, this is not a full episode reviewing Super Constitution. Learn why and also get all the latest 372 Pages-related news -- and there's a ton of it!![Note: there's a weird anomaly about 20 min in where the sound pings to only one channel. It's very brief but was unfixable (at least with my level of knowledge), so don't blame your equipment. Apologies.]UPDATE: Listener Eli has already reached out with his picture of the Collected ...
#126 - Super Constitution Ep 1 - Octopus Tentacles
Webster's defines "insane" asTHIS BOOK!Find out how a book titled SUPER CONSTITUTION is hornier than The Mister, Susan Fletcher,and a Moon People date at Red Lobster combined. We'll also meet (and then quickly abandon) a being from a galaxy 21 light years away,witness the most impressive Karate display be a five year old in history, andread a sentence that will insure you never look at an octopus the same way every again.For next ...
LIVE at Bryant Lake Bowl - 7/22/22
Thanks to everyone who came out to see us live in Minneapolis! Here's the audio of the show for everyone who couldn't make it. We discussed the Kazaam Novelization, another series by the author, read a Ninja Turtles parody Conor wrote in 4th grade, then were joined by Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett, and Sean Thomason for an epic round of Real or Fanfic. Some of the visual aids we used there are posted below.�
#assinaround
Well, you made us do this. More details to come!
Super Constitution / Live Show / Hot Dog Update!
The title tell you all you need to know. Well, except this: if you're wondering how or if you'll be able to get a copy of our upcoming book this should explain it.
Great.
This is now what Amazon thinks I want.
Book #21
The podcast is now officially old enough to legally drink, if you are going by the number of books we've covered and not episodes, which would probably be the more accurate way of doing it. But that's a good thing, because it might need a few to deal with this book!We're pleased to announce Book 21. We have no record of how it came to be recommended to us, so please let us know if it was you so we can tell who to blame. It sounds very...
Coming Soon!
And you won't want to miss this one! We'll keep you posted about when we're ready to announce. By all accounts, we're in for a treat...
Guess the Movie! (without looking it up)
Here's the cast: Danny Trejo, Hal Linden (Tony Award, multiple Emmys), Barry Bostwick (Multiple Tonys, Drama Desk Awards, Golden Globes), Margaret Avery (NAACP Image Award), Clint Howard (Splash, Apollo 13), James Hong (Airplane, Blade Runner), Reno Wilson (Fresh Prince, NYPD Blue), Julia Duffy (Golden Globes, Emmys) and many more.Sample dialogue: Hal Linden, while being pulled off a toilet at a diner, "Yes, I wiped!" ..."I'm ...
Conor's Bad First Grade Books - "The Monster That Ate Chicago"
Well, after the thorough roasting Mike gave my adaptation of "King Kong", I had to take a long break to do some self-reflection. Do I really have any right to criticize others when I myself have once written DSOTWs such as "He was a fuz!"? Of course I do. I was seven. I was scared of Bob from Sesame Street and thought Twinkies were too spicy. I was an idiot and should be made fun of by wise, rational elders such as present day me,...
July Live Show - Tickets On Sale Now!
If you're able to join us in Minneapolis for the 372/Ringheads Live double bill, tickets are on sale now! Hope to see you there!
Shocking "Gump & Co" Bonus ep
Loyal Jackal Jesse informed Conor of some Gump & Co new SO SHOCKING, he had to break it to Mike in real time. Every gumpisode we've previously done is now cast an an all new light. Here's the image of the paperback cover if you want to follow along with us.
372 Pages & Ringheads LIVE on July 22nd!
You read that right! Our first live show in three years will be in Minneapolis, at Bryant Lake Bowl on Friday July 22nd. It's a twin bill with our friends Sean Thomason & Bill Corbett of Ringheads! And Kevin Murphy will be there as well. More details to come!And check out that hobbit cow on the poster by Lucas Antoniak... The Lord of the Rigs??
Episode 124 – Gump & Co Ep 5
Sorry Mr. King, but Gump & Co comes to an end in this episode. Console yourself by interviewing Freedom Williams of C&C Music Factory. But not until you've listened to this episode, because there's a ton going on!Well, there's mostly: A) oysters B) asses & shit C) escalating degrees of assin' around. But there's also a healthy does of real time word count padding in between beloved characters dying and or hitting their kids wh...
Gump & Co Meme Contest Winners!
WOW we got a lot of good entries this time. Almost as many asses in these memes as there are in Gump & Co. Congrats to our audience pick, the car one (by Josh), and the judges' pick, the Hanks t-shirt (by E.C.)! If you are a winner, please shoot us an email and we will get you your prize!Here's a gallery of all the entries. And one video entry that we couldn't upload with the others.
Bonus Elaine's Story!
Mike's recounts a meeting of minds at Elaine's AND a bonus meeting again years and a continent apart!
Gump & co meme contest
It's time for some Gump memes everyone! If you've done this before, you know how it works. Post a link to an image in the comments, then take a look at what other people have posted and like your favorites. We'll pick a judge's pick as well as an audience pick for a token prize!
372 Pages #122 - Gump & Co Ep 4
We're past the halfway point in Gump & Co., and in this episode, so much Gump, so much Co., so much ass!! Seriously, could there be anymore ass in this book?All the departments are here, Real or Fanfic, Dumb Sentences, and Stealing Mail, and also thrill as Mike misses one of Groom's dumb jokes in real time!READING ASSIGNMENT: Finish the damn book.
Conor's Bad First Grade Books - "King Kong"
Hey, Mike here: I'm going to do a quick review of Conor's "draft copy" of his story "King Kong."Strong start. Marred only slightly by the typo. Happily his teacher corrected it to the proper spelling "fuz".Again, well done: headlong rush into the story, no fussing about with HOW the ball of faz grew to be a 50 foot tall ape. (Side note; good height selection, too. Coming just 10 feet shy of Glen aka The Amazing Col...
Conor tries one of Forrest Gump's CokeCola recipes
Well, we hit our first supporter target, so I was contractually obligated to try one of Forrest's attempts at fixing New Coke. This is the one with "cloves, cream of tartar, root beer extract, meat tenderizer, popcorn cheese seasoning, blackstrap molasses, crab boil, chili con carne (little orange fat), & bakin' soda." Have never been so annoyed and disgusted to see the podcast audience growing. Enjoy, and do not try at home!
