372 Pages We ll Never Get Back posts
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Edison Meme Contest Winners!
Another round of fantastic memes! Thanks to everyone who submitted, and congrats to Josh M & TT. View the complete gallery here.Winners, please email 372pages@gmail.com to claim your prize!
Bonus - Fire II - Ghost Fire
As promised, the sequel to Mike's story of the Great Garage Fire of His Youth.
Edison Meme Contest!
Listen up, Sylvanus P, it's time for the Edison's Conquest of Mars meme contest! You know the drill: post a link to your best meme(s) in the comments. Then come back and vote for your favorites by liking the posts. We'll pick our favorite, as well as the one that gets the most votes, and they'll get a sweet prize!
The Sylph Speaks!
Listener Jackson took the rare step to pre-um, actually us, and as promised in the last episode, here is his analysis of the German Linguist's interrogation of the Slender Sylph:I, Jackson Crawford, M.A., Ph.D., FPh.D., have tumbled to the fact that some readers will be unaware of what's going on with the captive woman'slanguage and why Serviss calls it "Aryan." I'm no David Becker, but I've taught what's now calle...
Episode 138 - Edison's Conquest Ep 3 - Zest and Interest!
Martians, space battles, disintegrators, heat rays, murdered crows -- the only thing missing from this story? Colonel Alonzo Jefferson Smith! Sylphan harp players! Compressed food, stolen and eaten with great care!Also, Mike does pretty well at Real or FanFic, heh heh...READING ASSIGNMENT finish the book!
The Little Things
Mike here: Conor and I will post a full episode very soon. Just a very quick story relating to the podcast: I adore the movie The Man in the Hat and was excited to show it to someone close to me. This person did not like the movie. Sighed and headshaked through the whole thing.Point being: different tastes. I still love this person even though s/he's wrong.I mean, come on, Ciarán Hinds and this song?!
Special Bonus - Thrilling TRUE Tales - Mike Starts an Electrical Fire
Mike has been involved in no less than TWO devastating fires. This is the story of the first. [keywords "Whizzo the Clown" "Kevin Bacon" "Evan Willams" "Red Vines" "Stephen King" "Penny Candy"]Note: The story of the second fire is still to come.
Episode 137 - Edison's Conquest Ep 2 - Australian Mine Owners!
Come for the Thrilling Story of an Encounter that Nearly Ended the Great Expedition. Stay for Mike's Thrilling Performance in Real or Fanfic.If you love the character of Tom. If you can't get enough of Sylvanus P. Thompson. If Lord Kelvin makes you giggle with delight, you will love this episode.Get the book here or download for free here.Assignment: For next time read up to “A Tedious Language Lesson" in Chapter 13
Cozy Groundhog Pitch
The title says it all: spurred on by a listener, both Conor and Mike give their best pitch for a cozy Groundhog Day mystery.NOTE: Immediately after recording this we were made aware that Quebec's beloved groundhog, Fred la Marmotte, died just before he could predict when winter will end at a Canadian city's Groundhog Day celebration! As God is our witness we did not know that Quebec has their own cozy mystery IRL.
Episode 136 - Edison's Conquest Ep 1 - Serviss is Selling
Our first reading of Garrett P. Serviss' Edison's Conquest of Mars is a real cracker jack, a tip-top lally-cooler!Truly, an enjoyable book if for nothing more than the action movie quipping of Professor Sylvanus P. Thompson.All the departments are here, as well as a description of Mike's brother-in-law's actual Edison cylinder mechanism! (Possible Patreon extra demonstration of it to come.)Buy the book here or read for free online...
Episode #135 - Book #23 announcement!
Shake off your weighted blanket and put down that spoon you're licking yogurt off the back of. It's no longer cozy season, dammit! It's time for Book 23 and we've got a listener recommendation that promises to be absolutely as uncozy as Christmas River was cozy. In fact, we're not even certain Coziness had been invented when this book came out!Here is gallery of images we discuss in this episodeBuy the book here or read for fr...
Super Constitution winners
Happy new year and congrats to our two winners! You now get to have a copy of Super Constitution in your home. Your 2023 may have already peaked.Please email us at 372pages@gmail.com or send a patreon message with your address and we'll get the copy out to you.
Christmas River Meme Contest Winners
Another excellent, cozy batch of memes this time around. It was hard to pick winners, so we picked two, both which involved Daniel, and the audience voted the American Chopper as their favorite.Winners Claire P, Mareebird, and LeviSamJuno please email us at 372pages@gmail.com or send us a patreon message and we'll get you your prize!Here's a gallery of all the entries
Cozy Mini - "Christmas in the Bayou" by Riley Blake
Mike took one for the team and read, ahem, CHRISTMAS IN THE BAYOU (MISS FORTUNE WORLD: LOUSIANA COZY CHRISTMAS). He attempts to explain it to Conor. Fails.But you'll hear in real time the sleuthing they do to figure out just what the dag nab heck is goin' on with this Bayou world.[Please note: the book blurb contains the words "school shooting". There is none described. It's really more of a Kindergarten Cop scenario. There is...
Murder in Christmas River meme contest
Let's see your best Christmas River memes! Post links to your images in the comments, then come back throughout the week to click the like button next to your favorites. Whoever gets the most votes, as well as whoever makes our personal favorite, will win our signed copies of Murder in Christmas River! We'll pick a winner on Friday.
Episode 134 - Murder in Christmas River Ep. 3: Dehydrated Mummies
Our final reading of this cozy mystery answers the deep, impenetrable puzzle at the heart of the book: How many people will show up to a cheesy tourist village the night after a massive three-foot snowstorm to view the judging of a gingerbread house competition? Turns out, a lot. Like, shoulder to shoulder to the point that the oddly bearded sheriff has almost no room to commit his wrongful arrests.Will our hero Cinnamon Peters be convicted of a ...
Episode 133 - Murder in Christmas River Ep. 2: Old Man Things to Talk About
After 16 chapters we finally get a mystery! Who killed the fancy-dressing Gingerbread House judge who flew into town from Arizona? Sure, it's a cliché as old as "The butler did it", but we're about to find out how they do things in Christmas River!And the answer is apparently booze, and lots of it. Everyone in this book, from the rugged ex-cop to the adorkable pie baker, is just plastered all the time. During the brief moments of...
Cozy Mini - "Christmas Presents" by Riley Blake
We ran down dozens of other Cozy Christmas Mysteries on our Christmas River intro episode. Today we're going to discuss one of the most intriguing contenders that we didn't pick: Christmas Presents by Riley Blake. This is the "cozy" where several children are left orphaned after an ALLEGED horrific accident. It delivered exactly what you'd hope from one of these books, and Conor's going to try to explain it all to Mike.
Amazon Recommends!
Ok, look, I think I'm barely rescued by the Dostoevsky! - (mjn)
#132 Murder in Christmas River - Ep 1 - Drunk Daniel
Well, Conor and Mike are back in Cozyville where they tick off the cozy cliches: Sentient dog Drunk, unpleasant, misanthropic grandfather Horrible tourists Money-grubbing shop owners Platinum blonde pie shop workers who "date" every man in town Handsome, divorced podiatrists who work for free Horny young men who spill coffee on their horny selves German doctors who prescribe Melba toast to their patientsYou know, the same old routine.Bonu...
372 Mini - Helium Update
It's been almost one year to the day since Mike & I went public with our burgeoning Crypto Bro status, and we have an important update. Namely, how I lost it all with one click of the mouse. My main takeaway is that I just wasn't BOLD enough, and the next time these fake currencies rise (that will not happen), I will be even more determined to seize the reins and make sick profits, brah.Now if you'll excuse me, Matt Damon is on the wa...
Here it is!
Well, the new book arrived. And now I guess according to Mike I'm supposed to lick this yogurt off the back of a spoon while I read it? Oh well, I guess those are the rules...EDIT from Mike: I just got mine today and I've already spilled like three pints of yogurt all over my fisherman's sweater; being cozy is very hard work.
Episode #131 - Book No. 22(!) Announcement
Super Constitution behind them, Mike and Conor look toward a future of cabins that have beds with way too many pillows on them, you know, where you go to sleep and have to spend five minutes figuring out where to pile the pillows so you don't step on them and slip in the dark of night; like, so many pillows that you become angry and start questioning the need for any pillow at all, anywhere? And your significant other starts insisting you kee...
Quick Classical Mini - RIGS!
Includes the thrilling tale of Mike becoming a piano tuner. In other words, it's a can't-miss ep!Exciting Addendum: I forgot this point: people with hearing loss tend to choose flawed playback systems that compensate for their missing frequencies, so don't take anyone's recommendations until you see their hearing charts! (That's a reasonable request of some guy you just met at the gym, right?)
#130 - Super Constitution Ep 5 - Welcome Back, Troika!
To quote the perpetually stoned kid who sawed his finger off in my high school Shop Class and had it surgically re-attached, writing in my year book, "What a long, strange trip it's been!" Emphasis on the long. (Note to author: EDIT!!)We wrap up our reading of the manifesto and as with all other readings find hidden delights among the endless monologues on tax rates and troop deployments.Thanks to you all who read along, or didn't...
Am I being Truman Showed?
I'm not a big believer in "signs" or "numerology" because I'm not a lunatic, but this was the closest I may get. I did a Triathlon on Saturday (first one ever, didn't die, would recommend), and the airbnb we stayed in had these four poor man's Thomas Kinkade prints on the wall. I don't know what caused me to inspect them at 6:15 am on a still dark Saturday morning, but the fact that all four of them were hand n...
Mike & Conor try to solve the 372 Pages Crossword
Loyal Jackal Claire created a 372 themed crossword, and we decided to solve it together. Watch our effort, or give it a try yourself and see if you can beat our time! (you certainly can. and we only cheated once. maybe twice)The crossword: https://mycrosswordmaker.com/1099685/The-372-Pages-Podcast-Puzzle
Super Constitution meme contest winners!
Lots of great memes this time around, but as there are only two items of memorabilia from the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co, there can only be two winners. Congrats to LeRenardRoux & Heraclitus Akimbo! Please email your contact info to 372pages@gmail.com so we can send your prize.You can view the gallery of all submissions here.
The Anti-Ted Lasso?
Saw this at a bowling alley yesterday. If your kid ever comes back from Little League practice and it turns out Coach Pappy is in charge, it's time to take up soccer!! Let's just hope the team wasn't the Chimeras...
#129 - Super Constitution Ep 4 - Miss Sequoia, AOOOOgaaaa!
Well, we're one ep away from being done with Charles Kim's ̶i̶n̶s̶a̶n̶e̶, u̶n̶h̶i̶n̶g̶e̶d̶ m̶a̶n̶i̶f̶e̶s̶t̶o̶ novel and one thing is becoming clear: unless you hold multiple degrees from Ivy League institutions he thinks you are human garbage and wants you dead.Other things you'll learn: there's nothing that can't be solved by throwing a cozy cocktail party. Always allow attendants at your meetings to b...
